Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
11 yr old daughter very distraught as to going to sleep alone
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
11 yr old daughter very distraught as to going to sleep alone
by jerryg49, Apr 13, 2006 12:00AM
My Dtr age 11 in 5/06 is having extreme difficulty the past 4/6 weeks going to bed alone upstairs,etc.
I am a divorced father for the past 9 yrs,very close and frequent contact,
.Her mother remarried 9 yrs ago.
My dtr's grades are excellent ,sports are excellent,sleepovers she loves ,babysitters etc.
Now she has called me her, Dad at home at 1;00 a.m crying very hard about not being able to sleep,not wanting to be alone upstairs,upset that her Mom wants to relocate to another state,and I do not--we have joint legal custody-- she needs my consent or a judge-- She is upset with the step -dad yelling at her do get to bed.
1 night i had 5 calls in a row.
I have an anxiety disorder,hopeful that she can skip the lack of involvemennt and knowledge I did not have.
I have scheduled a meeting with our pediatrician in a few days.
I need guidance,direction and answers to help assure this is dealt with correctly and with love.
I am not sure if this is about our divorce,she also was at a wake of her mother;s grandma 6 weeks ago.
Thank you
J
I am a divorced father for the past 9 yrs,very close and frequent contact,
.Her mother remarried 9 yrs ago.
My dtr's grades are excellent ,sports are excellent,sleepovers she loves ,babysitters etc.
Now she has called me her, Dad at home at 1;00 a.m crying very hard about not being able to sleep,not wanting to be alone upstairs,upset that her Mom wants to relocate to another state,and I do not--we have joint legal custody-- she needs my consent or a judge-- She is upset with the step -dad yelling at her do get to bed.
1 night i had 5 calls in a row.
I have an anxiety disorder,hopeful that she can skip the lack of involvemennt and knowledge I did not have.
I have scheduled a meeting with our pediatrician in a few days.
I need guidance,direction and answers to help assure this is dealt with correctly and with love.
I am not sure if this is about our divorce,she also was at a wake of her mother;s grandma 6 weeks ago.
Thank you
J
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Apr 14, 2006 12:00AM
, Apr 14, 2006 12:00AM
Such a sudden change in a child's behavior is usually associated with some change in their life's circumstances. The prospect of moving to another state could certainly be unsettling. The behavior warrants some assessment, and the appointment with the pediatrician is a good first step. Perhaps the pediatrician can guide you to a good mental health resource. An evaluation by a pediatric mental health clincian would be a good idea. The fact that she is calling you at night indicates that, for some reason, she's not feeling adequately supported at her mother's house, and that's not a good thing. That is part of the reason for having an evaluation. Hopefully you and her mother will be able to resolve this relocation problem without a lot of acrimony and tension.
I would ask her if anything's happened recently. Not to be stereotypical here, but ask her if something happened with her step-father, or possibly an adult friend or family member. Also, see if there have been any burglaries in the area... she might be afraid of her safety in that sense.
Ask her what would make her feel comfortable sleeping in her room.
Definitely follow through with going to see a mental health professional. She'll probably feel more comfortable talking to a female. Also, if she won't open up to you or a professional, see if there's a female family member or close friend she can confide in.
Good luck.