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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
6 year old concerned with weight
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
6 year old concerned with weight
by Fekete, Jun 06, 2006 12:00AM
My six year old, kind, social, and beautiful little girl has me worried. It all started in Pre-K, a little boy asked me if she had a baby in her belly? She has a little belly and she's noticing it now more than ever. She has always been 85 % of her height and 65% of her weight. She is the tallest in her class and has a bigger build than most of the girls. Two of her "close" friends have told her that she is "fat". They are very thin and so she does appear bigger than them. She often comes home and looks in the mirror and says "I wish I didn't have a belly and I wish I was skinny like the other girls". At home we eat well, she's in Tae-Kwon Doe and Soccer. I've tried to communicate the importance of "what's in the inside, vs. outside" as well as to not worry about what other's think. I did not expect this in Kindergarten. The girls are just being mean-spirited. I am very concerned and hope this does not turn into something else when she gets older. I'm hoping to get some specific guidance/ideas to help her overcome this?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 07, 2006 12:00AM
, Jun 07, 2006 12:00AM
This is a tough one to handle as a parent, because her concern is being generated not by your comments/behavior, but by those of her peers. Thus, the stimulus or precipitant for her concern is not within either her or your control. It sounds like you are adopting a prudent approach via the guidance you are offering her. Be sure not to press the matter too much, and react with equanimity when she raises the matter - i.e., stay calm, patient. Don't let yourself become alarmed. Children who are at either end of the height/weight spectrum can develop negative self-perceptions due to the remarks they encounter. In addition, if children are at the higher ends of the ht/wt spectrum, people often regard them as older than they are. If children are at the lower end of the ht/wt spectrum, people often react to them as if they are younger than they are. This is a phenomenon we should be sensitive to, particularly as children might react to what they are experiencing from others. As long as your daughter is eating sensibll, in a healthy manner, and as long as she is getting sufficient physical exercise, you're doing all you can from that perspective. Watch her to be sure she's not engaging in unhealthy habits, such as unduly restricting her food intake. If she is experiencing a normal range of friendships and activities for her age, her positive interactions with peers will outweigh the other reactions.
Angela