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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
possible learning disorder
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
possible learning disorder
by MOBASKETT, Jun 29, 2006 12:00AM
Ok I am so frustated with the daycare telling me that they think my son has a learning disorder. Let me first begin by saying that my son is 3 1/2 years old. I am in no rush to make my children the Einstein's of the world. We have an 8 year old daughter as well. I did not begin focusing on basic things such as colors,numbers, shapes and first words until she became 3 1/2 years old, so I chose to do the same with my son. I feel that children will be learning for the majority of their lives and I thought that it was ok to just let them be kids and have fun until a certain age, and for me that's 3 1/2. My daughter is now in the third grade and is in the gifted program. I know that children are different so I did and do not expect the same from my second child. The teachers are concerned that he doesn't play with the other children all of the time. he will not tell them he has to go to the potty, he crys almost everyday when taken to daycare. probably 17 days out of 20. as an i nfant he has always had to have something in his hands. he recognizes pictures and people. he calls them by name. In the last two weeks since being approached with this i decided that I would start teaching him at home. in the past week 2 wks he has learned most of his shapes, sorts, recognizes the colors that I have taught him and does puzzles as well as traces shapes. I am not sure where he should be at his age. but his daycare thinks he should be doing more. I do not want to deny him of extra help if it is warrented, but I also do not want to pressure him. We have an appointment with his pediatrician on monday to see if he needs an additional evaluation. After reviewing this wonderful website I do have concerns that he does have some type of anxiety disorder. As a child I grinded my teeth together until I was in High school and now I pick at the skin on my fingers and my son does this as well. when he was younger you could call his name and he seemed to be ignoring you. He did not start daycare until he was 1 1/2 and he has had seperation anxiety since the beginning. He is very connected to certain toys. If he is watching a movie he has to have the toy that is associated with the movie. He is not a picky eater. and follows directions quite well. He understands timeout and he knows about consequences. I do feel like I may have some need for concern at this point, and I do appreciate the daycares input but at this point I am trying to deal with the fact the he may have some type of disorder and prefer that they do their job of making sure that he has a good day and not potentially stress him. I am really rambling
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 30, 2006 12:00AM
, Jun 30, 2006 12:00AM
At this age, it's important for children to begin to have some contact with peers, but in a supervised play situation that allows some learning through play (which is appropriate for the age). I agree with your thought that it is not critical at all at this age to introduce formal learning - there will be plenty of time for that. Children will learn naturally from what they are exposed to. Think of the many thousands of children who have learned so much simply by their exposure to Sesame Street as an example. Becuse childrn these days are introduced so early into out-of-home experiences, sometimes the expectations re: formal learning become too pronounced. We begin to think that children should be reading by the time they are in kindergarten, and this is not developmentally a reasonable expectation. Learning through play, as children do in nursery school, is a very wise approach.
The description of your son reminds me of our son (he is now married with two children). He, too, was a bit shy and showed some elements of an anxiety disorder (not sure which one) when younger. In high school, he still was quiet but a "social butterfly" (if that term can be used for a fellow). He blossomed in college.
Our eldest grandchild does suffer from a severe form of social anxiety. I know what severe anxiety can do to a child - our granddaughter totally "shut down" at school - no speech, no eye contact, unable to eat or use the washroom, etc. - completely unable to function without intervention, treatment and medication.
It is possible that your son does suffer from an anxiety disorder but from your description,(in my humble opinion) it appears to be very mild. An excellent book that you might consider reading is "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron. As a retired teacher, I would urge you to "forget" about academics at this point - they're really only "ego boosts" to parents. After all, the hare did not win the race. Best to you -
Joan