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Diabetes - Juvenile Community
This patient support community is for questions related to juvenile diabetes including celiac disease, depression, diabetic complications, hyperglycemia / diabetic keto-acidosis, hypoglycemia, islet cell transplantation, nutritional issues, parenting a diabetic child, pregnancy, pump therapy, school issues, and teens with diabetes.
Anger, Marijuana, Giving up on school, theft
by crisart, Apr 29, 2006 12:00AM
My 17 year old son was diagnosed at 13 and about a year and a half ago he gave up on school started smoking pot andbecame very angry, to the point where if we crossed him or disagreed he would fly of the handle and in some instances even cause damage to the house.
The question is this...he hates any kind of councelling so it is hard to even get him to go and when we get him in the combination of issues requires a vsist to his diabetes specialist, a psychologist and then a drug specialist...never one person with an understanding and ability to help. Any suggestions?
And...does anyone know of a "troubled youth" camp that is versed in teen diabetics, ideally in CA?
HELP
Thanks
The question is this...he hates any kind of councelling so it is hard to even get him to go and when we get him in the combination of issues requires a vsist to his diabetes specialist, a psychologist and then a drug specialist...never one person with an understanding and ability to help. Any suggestions?
And...does anyone know of a "troubled youth" camp that is versed in teen diabetics, ideally in CA?
HELP
Thanks
Doctor's Answer
by JDRF-Team-gg, Apr 29, 2006 12:00AM
Oh boy...sounds like you are having a really difficult time right now with your son. I will tell you right off the bat that I am the kind of parent who has high expectations of my kids (22 year old son & 18 year old daughter with diabetes) and I was totally blessed with kids that did not rebel. I'm not saying that they were not kids and didn't get into kid stuff, but if something did arise that did not sit well with my husband and I, we had very strict and severe consequences for their actions. Never, never did we use our daughter's diabetes as an excuse for bad behavior. It's not a good idea nor is it a valid point. All I can suggest to you is that there has to be something that he values that you are providing him with that could be taken away until his behavior meets your expectations (money, TV, cell phone, car?, MP3 player, video games, etc.). I'm not so sure if a troubled youth camp is what you should be looking for. If the drugs are at the root of the problem, maybe you should be checking out rehab clinics that have the proper medical personel to care for his diabetes also. Maybe there's someone in your area that could steer you in the right direction that will post on this site (I'm sorry, but I'm in New York so I wouldn't be of any help with that). You're never going to find one person that will cover the scope that you need covered. Everyone nowadays specializes, so the patient really has to take the responsibility to coordinate their visits and put together a personal plan for success. I hope that you'll consider family counceling and if your son refuses to go, love him enough to go without him.
Have you joined your local JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) chapter? You may be suprised to find out that there are many families in your area dealing with this same exact problem and they may be able to help you. Try requesting some info from www.jdrf.org. You won't be sorry you reached out to them.
I wish you & your son the best and please let us know how things work out.
Have you joined your local JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) chapter? You may be suprised to find out that there are many families in your area dealing with this same exact problem and they may be able to help you. Try requesting some info from www.jdrf.org. You won't be sorry you reached out to them.
I wish you & your son the best and please let us know how things work out.
Post Comment
In our experieence, underlying emotional turmoil was the root cause of her drug & alcohol use, truancy, runaways, and suicide attempts. Once a person starts in with drugs -- typically to self-medicate their own pain -- professionals are dealing with what they term "dual diagnosis." In your son's case, there may be at least 3 things going on.
I'd encourage you to find counselors who can work -- not only with him -- but with your entire family along the lines of dual diagnoses. Drug/alcohol use is one issue and defiant behavior and/or depression (common among diabetics) may be a second area. Sadly, there are millions of teens in this boar, so I would expect that a state like California will have many resource focused on it. Since camps for troubled teens have a strong medical staff, I wouldn't be surprised if you found one that you felt confident would work well managing your son's diabetes, too. Some of these camps are "wilderness, personal challenge" types of camps where the young people experience life in completely different terms than city/suburban life. Their usual "life skills" are not quite relevant in a forest, and so they learn to collaborate and share and face vulnerability & fear along with several other teens in a relatively safe and "face saving" setting.
From my view, the emotional side of diabetes (or any chronic illness) is the least-addressed component and until each of us can come to terms with our situation, we simply won't "comply" on a regular basis. Regardless of the dark days you're enduring and those that may lie ahead, please find the strength to NEVER give up on your son. I am certain that the family bond is what my stepdaughter eventually grabbed to begin pulling herself out of the abyss. We represent the hope, the possibiity, that despite it all, there can be stability & contentment ahead.
Good luck. My heart goes out to you on many levels because I have been in a very similar, frighteningly-powerless situation myself.
I hope this didn't scare you at all. I think he is in denial that he needs to take insulin or eat differently from his peers, so he has high blood sugars, which cause disturbing behavior.
This is just my opinion. Good luck.
I agree that this cannot be used as an excuse, for even if we feel "off" we make choices about what boundaries constrain our behavior, and we are responsible for those choices even when we feel bad. So it is never acceptable to damage the house or to express anger in a destructive way. But it should not be overlooked that there is possibly a physical cause for some of the moods. I agree with the first posting that consequences should be clear and consistent for bad behavior. As long as a child or teen lives in your home, you DO hold some power over that person. You can insist that he go with you to counseling, cloaking it as family counseling rather than implying that something is wrong with him meaning that HE is the one with the problem. Car keys and other privileges can be held if he refuses.
I believe that this is an area that the support groups seem to forget about or avoid. Please if anyone can ask around to your other resources to see if there is any help for a Troubled Teen who needs help sooner vs later. I hate thinking that he could be high and administer a wrong dosage.
I can be reached at ***@****. Thank you
i fell for you and your son.
Thanks again.