Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
HIV Prevention (Expert Forum)
Deep kissing/Mutual Masturbation.
Answered by
University of Washington
Seattle - WA
This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. If you believe you might have been exposed to HIV and want help to judge your risk, would like advice about HIV testing, or have questions about the effectiveness of condoms or the risks associated with specific sexual practices, this is the site for you.
IMPORTANT
No questions will be accepted on the treatment of HIV/AIDS or its complications, viral load, and similar topics. If you have questions about a specific STD other than HIV/AIDS, please visit the STD Forum. Questions that do not pertain to the above topics will be removed from the forum.
If you have not done so, please review other threads in our archives for questions similar to yours and Dr. Handsfield's replies. Questions that duplicate other frequent ones, for which abundant replies exist, and that have little educational value for other forum users, will be DELETED WITHOUT RESPONSE. YOUR PAYMENT WILL NOT BE REFUNDED. The most common examples of such questions are those about low risk exposures to HIV, such as oral sex, condom- protected intercourse hand-to-genital exposure, and nonsexual contact with possibly infected blood or body fluids as well as symptoms of early HIV infection.
No questions will be accepted on the treatment of HIV/AIDS or its complications, viral load, and similar topics. If you have questions about a specific STD other than HIV/AIDS, please visit the STD Forum. Questions that do not pertain to the above topics will be removed from the forum.
If you have not done so, please review other threads in our archives for questions similar to yours and Dr. Handsfield's replies. Questions that duplicate other frequent ones, for which abundant replies exist, and that have little educational value for other forum users, will be DELETED WITHOUT RESPONSE. YOUR PAYMENT WILL NOT BE REFUNDED. The most common examples of such questions are those about low risk exposures to HIV, such as oral sex, condom- protected intercourse hand-to-genital exposure, and nonsexual contact with possibly infected blood or body fluids as well as symptoms of early HIV infection.
Deep kissing/Mutual Masturbation.
by Stressed Out., May 16, 2007 12:00AM
Doctor H: First let me say, I am an active reader of this forum and have followed your work for years. Thank you for all the education/help you have given on this topic. The world needs more people like you. Onto my questions... I am a happily married man with a child. Two nights ago, I was out on business and got very drunk. My colleague (a gay male) who has been courting me for years was also drunk. Unfortunately,I made a regretable decision and deep kissed him for 30 minutes and we mutually masturbated eachother. There was precum involved. I am worried for the following reasons:
1. He is gay (higher risk individual) and I had a blister on my bottom lip that bleeds on and off. I don't know if it was bleeding while deep kissing him. I've read that deep kissing is low risk (is this true?) but becomes higher risk with the presence of blisters, ulcers, etc.
2. We mutually masturbated. I know I had his seaman on my hand and then masturbated myself. What if it got into my urethra? It very well could have...
Bottom line -- How worried should I be? Do you recommend testing?
Last, I am leveling with my wife to feel better. I believe that it is the right thing to do. Your answer can have me officially put this situation behind me. Thank you.
1. He is gay (higher risk individual) and I had a blister on my bottom lip that bleeds on and off. I don't know if it was bleeding while deep kissing him. I've read that deep kissing is low risk (is this true?) but becomes higher risk with the presence of blisters, ulcers, etc.
2. We mutually masturbated. I know I had his seaman on my hand and then masturbated myself. What if it got into my urethra? It very well could have...
Bottom line -- How worried should I be? Do you recommend testing?
Last, I am leveling with my wife to feel better. I believe that it is the right thing to do. Your answer can have me officially put this situation behind me. Thank you.
Doctor's Answer
by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D., May 16, 2007 12:00AM
, May 16, 2007 12:00AM
If you have indeed been following this forum closely, you already know my responses. As others responded before me (below), the HIV risk was from the exposures you describe. 1) Kissing is said to be zero risk, but most kissing doesn't last 30 minutes, and your oral herpes (by far the most common cause of a recurrent blister on the lip). So there could have been some slight risk. (No, there are no data to estimate the risk in numbers. Less than 1 chance in many thousand, though.) 2) Mutual masturbation is zero risk for HIV transmission, regardless of any scenario you can imagine about exposure to pre-ejaculate fluid.
Overall, the risk is low enough that you can ignore it and not get tested and can have sex with your wife. But if you remain nervous and my reassurance isn't quite what you need, feel free to gest tested in a few weeks. Alternatively, just ask your friend whether or not he has HIV. Outside the heat of sexual arousal, most people don't lie when asked directly. If he says he is HIV negative, consider yourself home free; if positive, or if he hems and haws, consider him to be HIV positive.
In general I refrain from relationship advice. But my personal, nonprofessional opinion agrees with the comments below, that it usually isn't wise to 'fess up after such encounters. Before you decide, you might seek counseling; or consider posting a question on MedHelp's sexuality and relationships forum.
HHH, MD
Overall, the risk is low enough that you can ignore it and not get tested and can have sex with your wife. But if you remain nervous and my reassurance isn't quite what you need, feel free to gest tested in a few weeks. Alternatively, just ask your friend whether or not he has HIV. Outside the heat of sexual arousal, most people don't lie when asked directly. If he says he is HIV negative, consider yourself home free; if positive, or if he hems and haws, consider him to be HIV positive.
In general I refrain from relationship advice. But my personal, nonprofessional opinion agrees with the comments below, that it usually isn't wise to 'fess up after such encounters. Before you decide, you might seek counseling; or consider posting a question on MedHelp's sexuality and relationships forum.
HHH, MD
You will not contract HIV from this incident, period. So if you think you are telling her for that reason, DON'T. If you feel like you need to relieve your OWN guilt, go unburden on a therapist. If you truly feel like you must be honest and tell her of this incident regardless of the fact you said it was a one time mistake due to alcohol...go ahead and turn her life into a living hell.
Hope you feel better afterwards.
As for risk, you had none. Deep kissing is not a risk, neither is mutual masturbation. You certainly don't need testing.
No need to continue discussion of the relationship issues. Stressed Out's last comment about cut lep and semen contact with penis doesn't change the opinion or advice in my reply above.