Oh, come on now. Your test results prove with absolute certainty you don't have HIV. Anyway, I agree with your ID doct: if you really were infected 18 years ago, you are extremely articulate for a dead man--which is what you would have been by now. If this question is the only reason you are planning to see the ID specialist again, I suggest you save your money, time and energy--and his or hers.
Regards-- HHH, MD
You had numerous NEGATIVE tests which means you DON'T HAVE HIV. What don't you get about that? Anyway, even if you did, you probably would be close to death by now after 18 years with no treatment. Stop driving yourself nuts.
First of all, you don't have HIV. You've had a TON of tests over 18 years. None of your symptoms are even remotely like HIV, and a fever of up to 99 isn't a fever at all. I also seriously doubt you're having hot flashes, except those that may be due to anxiety. You don't even sound unusually sick... you sound like a perfectly normal human being to me.
As for your partner's behavior, if she really was alarmed by your UTI, she probably thought you may have given HER a STD. From the tone of your post, I'm also guessing that you may have been rather insistent and quite anxious in your contacts with her, which probably really did constitute harrassment. I'm sure she didn't have HIV, and you don't either.
I do think counseling is in order. You definitely don't need further testing, and anyone who keeps testing you for HIV after all these negative tests (assuming you've had no other risks) must be behaving unethically. You might, however, want to talk with your doctor about your anxiety around HIV, and about possibly starting meds to help you as you begin to work through this in therapy.
wow, I thought maybe I was a bit obsessive. You are definitely fine and should seriously seek professional help as you are losing time out of your life over nothing. You will never get this time back so truly try to let this go and move on.