I just thought that I would let you know that I had a 3 mth HIV instant blood test yesterday which came back negative. Which I means I can get on with my life, move on and never make the same mistake again. Hard lesson to learn - but definately learnt!

Thanks for everyones support and advice...

Best wishes and thanks again!

Yes, the heat of battle is probably not the best time for truth-seeking!

Apologies for over stepping the mark:)

Of course some people will lie about their HIV status. People also die in auto wrecks despite wearing seatbelts.  That doesn't mean seatbelts aren't a good idea.  Using them improves the odds, that's all.  Same for sharing HIV status.  Of course it's also a matter of timing and common sense. Probably lots of prospective partners lie if not asked until you're already getting it on.  But of course that's not the time to ask!

Yes, you're right, HIV should be on the pre-sex agenda between gay men. That's why I advised him on that in my first response!

But that said, I have come across many instances where gay people have discussed status before sex, where a positive person has lied about their status and only come clean after the act. Yes, it should be a basic issue before gay sex. But even when it is, the truth, it seems, rarely comes out.

I don't give out my email address but if you come over to the support forum I'll answer any question you like there

hi Dobber can I have your email address.. i want your suggestion on something.

i'll be very thankful to you
Thanks,
veryscaredguy

Thanks everyone for your help and advice.

well said

I do not compulsively read the scientific literature on HIV testing.  But many experts believe that false negative antibody tests are a thing of the past, for all practical purposes; and that it is extremely rare for it to take 3 months, let alone 6 months, to seroconvert.  I am not aware of any official agency in the US that recommends testing beyond 3 months, even for the highest risk situations.

Since your exposure was high risk, I do recommend a 3 month test, but see no reason to go longer.

In my primary response, I should have reminded you of another piece of advice I give consistently.  In my view, dobber21 is only partly right about your choice of username:  using a condom was a non-foolish decision, but in my view it was indeed foolish not to ask your partner his HIV status, and share your own, before having sex with him.  Asking and sharing HIV status is a basic and critical element of sexual safety for gay men, in the long run just as important as condom use.  I see no valid reason to ever have sex without asking and telling.  Your situation is an excellent example why:  condoms break; also, intentions for safe sex sometimes disappear in the heat of the moment.  

HHH, MD

Thanks for your response - I have been searching this site for the last few months for re-assurance and the answers you have given have helped me through. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of info I have absorbed alot of which can conflict. I think I just wanted some re-assurance that my tests are obviously pointing in the right direction and also that alot of people who post comments on the forum have not really had any real knowing potential exposure to HIV - whereas I have. Thanks again - no disrepect was intended to you and the answers you have provided in the past.

No problem,
You're not a fool by the way, you DID protect yourself, condoms can slip off, no one's perfect. But it has happened, and for peace of mind test out as long as you feel you need to. As the doctor has said, human window periods don't change the biology of seroconversion, which happens, in pretty much 100% of cases by 6 weeks.

I think you'll be fine:)

Hi Monkeyflower - the UK National Aids Helpline said that if I want to be 100% sure then it needs to be 6 months as some people still dont show at 3 months - immuno suppressed - which I am not.

Thanks for your help Dobber - its really helpful to get some solid advice. You get so much conflicting info. Mass says 6 weeks is enough to show a positive result and if your neg at 6 weeks then you aint gonna turn positive. The GUM clinic say that my tests so far are encouraging, but not conclusive.

Thanks for your support...I feel like I have been through a living hell (suicidal etc etc) and still am to a degree - until someone says - yep - you are fine.

Jesus, the six week/three month debate is tedious enough. Six months (not to mention a year!) is just crazy talk. But I'm wondering... you didn't get that idea from the support board, did you? Ever since some guy posted his paranoid ideas about HIV/testing windows, practically every other post has mentioned a six month window...

While your partner was high risk, the fact that your sex was for the most part protected means it was highly unlikely you were infected. There isn't much of a difference in risk for insertive anal as opposed to insertive vaginal (6.5 in 1,000 vs 5 in 10,000 respectively).

Your testing history suggests that you've come out of this ok. But go back at three months to confirm. The six month window worried me too, but it's outdated; Dr. H has stated elsewhere that at a meeting of 300+ HIV experts last November, not one had seen a negative test at 6-8 weeks turn positive afterwards...provided there was no other risk.

The AG/AB test is about 90% accurate at four weeks. It's backed up by a 7 week negative. All of the above suggests you'll come out of this ok.

One more thing; Since HIV is more prevalent among homosexuals, it really should be on the pre-sex talk agenda. But you took precautions; for that you should be commended:)

For the Doc: Why do organizations persist with the six month window? I've even heard of people being told to test out to a year! Is there any evidence to support these claims?

Accorrding to forum rules, I should have deleted this question without response.  See the prominent disclaimer on the home page, which asks people to review the forum and avoid duplicate questions that have been addressed repeatedly.  My innumerable other answers about the time it takes for HIV tests to become positive also apply to you.  You can get the information you seek by picking any 10 threads, some of which will address this issue.  Or use the search function to look for 'time to positive HIV test'.

Based on the comments below, it is obvious that nothing I can say is going to relieve your anxiety.  For that reason, I suggest you get tested at 3 months and maybe even 6 months.  But it's up to you, not me.

For further discussion, feel free to use the HIV Support forum.  But additional comments here, please.

HHH, MD