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Vasectomy or Tubal?
by Kassimom, Aug 05, 2004 12:00AM
Okay, my Dh and I are at odds about this one thing. We know this is our last child and so we know we want some form of permanent birth control after he's born. What we don't know is which way to go.
First of all, we are waiting a year after he is born to get either procedure done so getting my tubes tied during the c-section is out.
I have argued that with a tubal, it's more invasive with a longer recovery time. I have also heard (please correct me if I am wrong) that when you get a tubal, you will eventually HAVE to get a hysterectomy. I have also argued that a tubal is NOT reversible while a vasectomy is (should there EVER be a WAY off chance that for some CRAZY reason we want to reverse the procedure)
HE argues that vasectomies are very expensive and that he doesn't want anyone with anything sharp anywhere near his "boys".
Frankly, I am sick of the birth control being all up to me. He wants me back on the Nuva Ring after baby is born if I won't get the tubal. UUGGHHHH....I don't want to have to be responsible for BC every month when it's just as easy to just get him snipped!
Please!!!! Weigh in!!!!
First of all, we are waiting a year after he is born to get either procedure done so getting my tubes tied during the c-section is out.
I have argued that with a tubal, it's more invasive with a longer recovery time. I have also heard (please correct me if I am wrong) that when you get a tubal, you will eventually HAVE to get a hysterectomy. I have also argued that a tubal is NOT reversible while a vasectomy is (should there EVER be a WAY off chance that for some CRAZY reason we want to reverse the procedure)
HE argues that vasectomies are very expensive and that he doesn't want anyone with anything sharp anywhere near his "boys".
Frankly, I am sick of the birth control being all up to me. He wants me back on the Nuva Ring after baby is born if I won't get the tubal. UUGGHHHH....I don't want to have to be responsible for BC every month when it's just as easy to just get him snipped!
Please!!!! Weigh in!!!!
I am pregnant with my first so any decision made won't be for awhile but my DH and I have talked about it and he is all for a vasectomy!!! I know I lucked out! There are a few guys on the Fire Dept. with him that have had the procedure done and said no problems and with their sense of humors they said they would rather have it done then thier wives go through menopause and be BEASTS!! Can't say that I blame them. To give you an idea of these guys humor a few of them brought a video camera into the room for the procedure EWWWW!!!!!
Talk to ya later.
Emily
I recovered quickly from my tubal. Worked the night before, had the tubal that morning, home by noon. Worked the next night. A little sore, that's all I felt. But I tend to get up and around pretty quickly, even after major surgeries!
Expense--Most insurances cover a tubal ligation. I don't know about a vasectomy, but I'd have to say they probably would, b/c it is discrimination if they cover female permanent sterilization and not male. So call your insurance and find out.
Sharp instruments around "the boys"??? Tell him this ain't high school. The urologist doing the procedure has probably done it like 50,000 times before. He will recover really quickly, and if it is done on a Friday, he won't even miss any work.
As for vasectomy being easier to reverse...if you are even asking this, I'd say DON'T get any form of permanent birth control done yet. While SOMETIMES either form can be reversed, it is very expensive, not covered by ANY insurance, and many, many times not successful. The ONLY reason to have any form of permanent sterilization done, is if you are 1000% sure you will never, ever want more children. Even if, God forbid, something happened to your children, that you would NEVER want any more.
If you can't truthfully say that you will never want more children, EVER...you aren't ready for permanent sterilization.
That's my 2cents. Sorry to get on my soapbox!
Guilt is good.
I called my sister in law and asked her about the tubal because she has had it done. She said that it can be rather painful but she didn't think that everyone who has it done has to have a hysterectomy. She did inform me that my brother also had a vasectomy done, I guess they wanted to take make sure that there wasn't gonna be anymore babies.... She said he had the procedure done on a Friday and was back to normal by Monday.
I just think that it's the least a man can do to help us women out.. Maybe some of this info will help you a little..
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mandy
As for the reversal, WE do not want any more children. The ONLY reason I was thinking we may not want a permanent is not if something happens to one fo the kids but if something happened to one of us and we were to remarry someone with no children. I personally wouldn't want a thrid child but I was thinking he might if he re-married. But after more in depth talking about it, he said he wouldn't re-marry anyway (what a prince). SSSOOOO...here we are back to permanent sterilization....which way to go! LOL
(Don't er...give him anything else until he sees things YOUR way, LOL!)
and as far as i'm concered my dh can at least get poked one time, since everytime i'm pg they poke me with needles constantly.
oh and if he does decide to do it....don't let him play mr. macho and try and do all kinds of stuff he was told not to do the day after the procedure! it will only make the healing take longer, and make his "boys" swell up.
(my old boss tried to go back to work the next day.....he ended up sitting on ice by the time he got home that night..haha)
~nanci
Good luck and God bless.
Like I said.....this is only my opinion and I will glady voice this to my Dh when then time comes!!! Good luck girl, and stand you're ground! You've gone through enough for him, now let him do some of the work.
No one is going near 'my boys'......UGGGGGGG...get over it already.
We are not ready to take that step because even though I say I'm afraid of having a third boy, I think there is a chance we will go ahead and try for another. Hubby is already 37 and was never blessed with children of his own until now. He always wanted children but didn't get them. He says 'if the good Lord wants us to have more then we will' but he also says that by the time Talon is 20 he will be almost 50 and I don't think he likes that idea.
Anyway, I'm still trying to talk DH into having the "V" when we decide FORSURE that we are finished but he says "NO, NO, NO"....
I think I will listen to what the girls (Christie I think) said and go with the guilt........LOL
He's a rough, tough Army guy, he can handle it.....hehe.
Why is it that ya'll are going to wait for a year after the baby is born before having something done??
Good Luck to you,
Vikki
~nanci
Anyway, check out www.mirena.com for more info. Even after we have our 3rd child, I plan on going back on it. I hate the idea of permanent sterilization for either of us. I have seen far too many people regret it later in life, especially if their marriage ends for some reason and they remarry and decide they want more children.
So far I have had mirena in for almost a month and aside from some sparse spotting, I have loved it! No worries about condoms, no hormonal side effects (mirena has a