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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
Boyfriend Doesn't Get It
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
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Boyfriend Doesn't Get It
by Readsalot, Oct 21, 1999 12:00AM
I've been suffering from depression for quite some time, but due to some difficult circumstances in my life, lately it's become unmanageable. I'm ready to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to get on meds for this. The problem is that my boyfriend (with whom I live) doesn't understand or condone the use of medication to treat depression. He doesn't subscribe to the belief that depression is a medical illness, and that Paxil and the like are more than just "happy pills."
I don't feel I need his permission to get on medication, but having his support would be nice. Any suggestions on how I can explain the situation to him and possibly bring him around to my way of thinking? I think it's very difficult for someone who's never suffered from long-term depression to understand what it's like.
Also, has anyone had any problems in getting health insurance once they've been on this type of medication? I'm wondering if I should pay for the psychiatrist visit(s) and meds completely out of my own pocket or file claims with my health insurance provider. I don't know if down the road this might be considered a "preexisting condition" with future insurers.
I don't feel I need his permission to get on medication, but having his support would be nice. Any suggestions on how I can explain the situation to him and possibly bring him around to my way of thinking? I think it's very difficult for someone who's never suffered from long-term depression to understand what it's like.
Also, has anyone had any problems in getting health insurance once they've been on this type of medication? I'm wondering if I should pay for the psychiatrist visit(s) and meds completely out of my own pocket or file claims with my health insurance provider. I don't know if down the road this might be considered a "preexisting condition" with future insurers.
Doctor's Answer
by HFHS.MD-AJ, Oct 23, 1999 12:00AM
LC,
It is unfortunate that your boyfriend has not been supportive of your plans to seek psychiatric help, thus far. You may consider asking him to accompany you to see the psychiatrist, and hopefully he will gain more understanding about your condition. It is important that you realize the benefits of seeking help, with or without your boyfriend's support. Most health insurance providers provide coverage for mental health treatment in some form or the other. Your health insurance company would better provide specific information about this.
It is unfortunate that your boyfriend has not been supportive of your plans to seek psychiatric help, thus far. You may consider asking him to accompany you to see the psychiatrist, and hopefully he will gain more understanding about your condition. It is important that you realize the benefits of seeking help, with or without your boyfriend's support. Most health insurance providers provide coverage for mental health treatment in some form or the other. Your health insurance company would better provide specific information about this.
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Depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance. If one has a chemical imbalance, then medication is necessary to control the imbalance - it's similar to diabetes, in that there's a chemical imbalance and a medication - insulin - is used to control that.
Well, fortunately you don't have diabetes, but if you did, would your boyfriend begrudge you the insulin required to restore the chemical balance to your body? (The answer here should be "no!")
So why is he against anti-depression medication?
It does the same job of restoring balance....
If he doesn't like that line of reasoning, then just go ahead and get the medication, take it, get better and find a more supportive boyfriend!
By the way, I feel fine now. Hang in there. :-)