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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
Boyfriend depressed
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
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Boyfriend depressed
by Bessan, Mar 01, 2002 12:00AM
My boyfriend of two years is severely depressed? He is from Sweden studying over here in the US? When he returned from Sweden after x-mas, I noticed he had become very lifeless. Actually, to think back over the previous months, he never wanted to go out of the house when we saw each other. He always complained of feeling lonely and tired. But when he did come back after x-mas, things were much worse! It was very noticeable so I began to think it was me! I asked him one night what was going on and although at first he was hesitant to talk to me, he finally opened up and told me all of the feelings he has had including suicide! As a previous sufferer of depression, I immediately knew what he was feeling. But then he told me that he needed time alone and after a week when I hadn't heard from him and called to check up on him, he told me things needed to end with us b/c his feelings were lost for me and he didn't see a future with me b/c he intends on going back to Sweden. I was so devastated! Two weeks later I called him to check on him and we met for a couple of hours to talk. After being with him, he seemed to feel better. He told me he would call me and when he did, he told me he didn't love me and once again - his feelings were lost! I don't know if I should take this personally or is it the depression talking? He is drinking a lot with his friends which will only make him feel worse. I am very concerned! Please give me some insight?
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Mar 04, 2002 12:00AM
, Mar 04, 2002 12:00AM
When a person is very depressed like this, you should not take his loss of feelings for you as anything but his loss of feelings for life, for himeself, for his future. It is a very serious matter. YOu will not be able to rescue him by love or devotion, but he can definetly get help from a professional, and I would encourage you to encourage him to get help immediately, if possible. YOu may not be able to do anything more than recommend it. You should also be prepared for him to reject your recommendation, but at least you will have done all you can.
Member Comments (2)
by karizmaflip, Mar 02, 2002 12:00AM
HONEY, I AM NOT TRYING TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS OR ANYTHING BUT, HE MAY HAVE ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND AND HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU SO HE HAS DONE IT THIS WAY. BECAUSE HE LEFT AND CAME BACK WITH THESE FEELINGS AFTER HE LEFT. AND HE GOES TO BARS AND STUFF, HE MAY HAVE JUST FOUND ANOTHER ONE.ASK HIM TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH AND IF IT IS TRUE, FORGET THE JERK!
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