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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
Obessive thoughts regarding past friendship
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
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Obessive thoughts regarding past friendship
by John90, Feb 19, 2004 12:00AM
Hi,
I posted a question a couple days ago regarding my relapse. I am talking to the therpists and doctor at the hospital, but I am feeling of loneliness. I had a "friend", and one of the only close friends that I had had, and I decided to terminate the friendship around 12 months ago because my "friend" was like constantly cheating people. For example, he wouldn't leave his fair share of price for a dinner, he would go into movie theaters without paying, he would lie to the train conductor and not pay for the train ticket. After the couple years of hanging around him, I think its safe to say he is a pathological liar. I am not an angel, and I have stolen money from family when I was a child, but I have not stolen any thing in many years -- he is 34 and I am late 39.
Anyway, my main problem is loneliness currently, and its so bad that I am thinking about calling him up and try to become friends. I mean he caused me stress and anxiety, and truely, I didn't like him and I don't know why I have this obsessive thoughts of trying to be friends again. I have anger inside of me because he cheated, and was he was cheap moron. So, there are mixed emotions. One day I want to be friends again with him, but the next day, I am afraid he will cheat people, and I curse him. I don't know what to do. The doctors are putting me into a group program.
This maybe a stupid question, but would your program be beneficial to someone like myself?
I posted a question a couple days ago regarding my relapse. I am talking to the therpists and doctor at the hospital, but I am feeling of loneliness. I had a "friend", and one of the only close friends that I had had, and I decided to terminate the friendship around 12 months ago because my "friend" was like constantly cheating people. For example, he wouldn't leave his fair share of price for a dinner, he would go into movie theaters without paying, he would lie to the train conductor and not pay for the train ticket. After the couple years of hanging around him, I think its safe to say he is a pathological liar. I am not an angel, and I have stolen money from family when I was a child, but I have not stolen any thing in many years -- he is 34 and I am late 39.
Anyway, my main problem is loneliness currently, and its so bad that I am thinking about calling him up and try to become friends. I mean he caused me stress and anxiety, and truely, I didn't like him and I don't know why I have this obsessive thoughts of trying to be friends again. I have anger inside of me because he cheated, and was he was cheap moron. So, there are mixed emotions. One day I want to be friends again with him, but the next day, I am afraid he will cheat people, and I curse him. I don't know what to do. The doctors are putting me into a group program.
This maybe a stupid question, but would your program be beneficial to someone like myself?
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Feb 20, 2004 12:00AM
, Feb 20, 2004 12:00AM
It would be helpful if you were ready to start working on the real issue, and that is of making either new friends or deepening the relationships you now have, especially a love relationship.
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I kind of know how you feel. I've lived with my partner now for six years, and he has never cheated on me BUT I can't stop thinking that he might have or would in the future.
I have a low opinon of myself anyway, and I guess that doesn't really help. I know how you feel about liars, I think it's the lowest form of human who just can't stop lying about things (even when people make up things just to seemingly improve their life to other people.)
I'm no expert, but I feel you can get over this. I think you should see a psycolgist, who will teach you how to think correctly. Don't be put off by the stigma surrounding this kind of treatment, I regularly see one for my anxiety and it's really helping. I wouldn't ever recommend a councillor, they are just too fake and don't have any real qualifications in this sort of thing.
I don't have many real freinds, I have people who email me occasionally but I never see them.. and I have had freinds (so called) who stole money off me and used me for all I was worth.
If it helps, and you want to feel free to drop me an email. I'm a good listening ear, and I'll always reply: christopher.***@****
I hope things pick up a bit for you pal...
Cheers,
Chris