LOL!!!!  

My personal favorite is the "shot man" at our pediatrician's office.  That poor, dear nurse who's job it is to give vaccinations.  The kids see him and sob.  

He said he hates going to Target because he always seems to bump into patients there.  They see him and just start screaming, crying and running away!  LOLLLL.  

-Kat

Yes, I had that happen to me, too.  I was at the local shopping mall in our little town and heard a faintly familiar little voice exclaim, "Mommy! Mommy!! Look!  Our doctor shops!!"

Quix,

I know exactly what you mean...the normal MRI is wonderful, but yet it doesn't provide any answers!  It is just as you said, you want something to nail the diagnosis.  I felt like that when my recent MRI was normal.  I was incredibly happy that it was normal, but I want an explanation, a reason for my seizures.  My EEG did show spikey alpha waves in the frontal region, but the neuro said that they may or may not be indicative of eye movement.  May or may not?  Is it or isn't it??? Sometimes, there just aren't any darn answers and that can be as frustrating as not feeling well.  

As my neurologist said, "Medicine isn't an exact science."  He said I should be used to this, given that I have fibromyalgia.  It took over ten years for docs to figure out I have fibro.  They don't know what causes it or why I have it.  Some docs don't even believe in the existence of fibromyalgia. All I know is that I feel like **** all the time.  

I sound like I need some cheese to go with my WHINE. ;)

I don't know why people often assume physicians have greater coping skills when it comes to their own illnesses. They don't suffer less...or gain magic "cure-it-all" wands in med school. It reminds me of how children often don't believe teachers have a life outside of the classroom.  I can still remember students bumping into me in restaurants and their mouths dropping open in shock that I was out, EATING.

I'm saddened to hear that you could not renew your license, due to costs.  That is heartbreaking.  The insurance alone that docs today have to pay is appalling.  One of my friends, who is a gynecologist, had to stop doing obstetrics for awhile, because the insurance is too expensive.  I wonder how many fantastic docs like you we're losing because of this...  

My brother is a doctor (a second year resident) and I know he is scared about his student loans kicking in... People think physicians make amazing salaries, but they often can't catch a break.  As if the pressures of helping people/treating them weren't enough!  

I would say I hope the "industrial strength" MRI shows something, but I don't...I want you to have your answers, but I want the answer to be something simple and curable!  :)  

Please keep me updated,
-Kat

  



  

Hi, Kat.  No, I'm not really looking forward to hearing the results so I haven't called.  My MRI are always normal, despite a failing body, so I find the news disheartening.  Weird, huh?  You would think I would be happy to know my brain looks so great, and I DO...it's just that I would like something to just NAIL the diagnosis!  I see him in a couple weeks and I can wait.  If it was anything he would like to treat, like with a steroid pulse, he would call me.

He ordered the MRI (C-spine and T-spine) because 3 weeks ago I started having the strangest sensations when I flex my neck, even a little.  I know this is called L'Hermitte's Sign and is common in MS, but it is new to me. When I bring my chin down, even just a little, I get a buzz/vibration/electrical shock sensation deep in my L thigh and down the back of the leg.  It happens whether I'm sitting, standing, walking, lying down...so dozens and dozens of times a day.  He is looking for a new spine lesion (flexing the neck puts a stretch on the cord) and ordered it on the newest generation of MRI the GE T3 (a bigger Tesla 3 magnet).  You think if my MRI's keep looking great I'll lose my MS card-carrying privileges. lol??

There is this discordance between wanting things to show up on the tests and not wanting to see myself as damaged.  The reality is that I live with daily reminders that "Things jus ain't right on the girl!"  so it's not like I'm hoping for disease that isn't already there.

I really appreciate the personal checking up on me.  Thanks, Kat.  People usually expect a physician to be able to handle this stuff okay.  But knowing stuff and dealing with stuff are two very different issues.  Even before the MS symptoms, I never was okay with the loss of being able to be an important force in people's lives.  I wasn't okay with loss of ability to practice and dropping my license was devastating.  (I couldn't afford the renewal fees).  That was the ultimate reality check.

Even today, I feel like ****.  But I can't stay away from the computer, hoping that someone has answered or spoken to me.

'nough sobbing.  How are you doing?  Tell me about yourself.  Quix