Dear Concerned, I know you are afraid but none of us have a crystal ball. All I can suggest is have FAITH. That will get you through anything, the good and the bad. Keep your chin up, you are a great son.

No need to apologize. You just vocalized what a lot of us go through as well...the agonizing about what ifs and what nots. I've rambled like that on the phone with my poor, patient friends. As long as you understand that it will not give you answers and will just help you vent...vent away!

This is a place where apologies are unnecessary. Everyone here is going through something - actual cancer, the fear of cancer, fear for loved ones or anger over a situation. It's never wrong to express yourself on this forum, I just hope we can be of some help to you. Your mom is blessed that she has you in her life, and we're glad you're here too. You help give us some insight to how others may feel around us. Your input is valuable and genuine, please don't ever feel bad. One of the most important things to have, if you are diagnosed with cancer, is someone that can take notes for you, ask questions, help to remember appts, and be proactive in searching for answers and new clinical trials, etc., someone who is caring and thorough. You are that special someone for your mom and it's important that you continue looking at the options available to her. I'm proud to know you and I'm sure others on here feel the same. I hope someone in my life steps up like that if a cancer diagnosis is made, it's difficult thinking that all of the research and questions would fall on only me.I'm sure that many women on here would probably agree with that, but I can't speak for them. You may not be a cyst-er, but you're definitely a cyst-him (lol) and we welcome you with all of our hearts. God bless you and your mom, we are here for you always. Robin

I think the fact that you are recognizing the struggles of others is a really good thing.  Ultimately, whatever happens, this will make you stronger and better as a person.  More aware of the things other people are going through.  I too feel concerned at times that while I am worrying and angsting over cysts and masses, many of the women on here are dealing with the real thing.  I pray for them daily.  This is a support forum and sometimes I come her to get it and sometimes I come her to give it.  I get strength and comfort from both!  Hang in there, you are doing just fine.

Do NOT apologize. :) I have an idea of what you're going through.  I'm very worried about my mom, who's stage lllc. She just got out of the hospital last week, because her blood counts all dropped, thanks to the chemo.  She was receiving TOO much, and it destroyed her bone marrow.  Now the doctor is cutting it in half.

Anyway, this is a great place to vent, and to have any questions you may have, answered.  Everyone here is very supportive, and coming here has kept what's left of my sanity!  LOL

Hey Concerned,
You got it! Congrats!  Now that you describe it I can definitely picture going over data to try to get control over the uncertainty and the fear.  Now that's it's more stated in words hopefully you'll be able to find other ways to reduce the fear too beyond data.  It usually works that way.

The other comment that seemed so powerful was that it reminds you of your own mortality.  I'm going to project something here and see if it fits and helps...  If it reminds you of your own mortality maybe you are relating to it by looking at this by trying to feel what it feels like to your mom to go through this  ...in instead of feeling what it feels like to you to go through having a mom go through this.  If so, then you'd be overwhelmed by feelings that aren't really the central ones for you, and missing "processing" the ones you are feeling quite as much.  And that just makes it harder and more overwhelming all the way around.  I hope I was able to explain this well enough in words for it not to sound like mush-mash.

I wanted to suggest stopping and remembering to breath.  This is a hard thing to go through that you are going through -- which generally means forgetting to relax and breath a bit.  

It sounds to me from the posts that you are starting to feel less anxious, which is great - and great work on your part.  If you do find anxiety overwhelming, I wanted to suggest to consider meds.  I'm not a big believer in them, but if it takes the edge off something and gives someone a chance to deal with their feelings, then when they go off a few months later, it's much easier to keep going.  If you do decide on trying meds, using a GP doesn't know as much as a psychiatrist at picking the best choice for the situation.

Hope some of this helps, or at least knowing that we all are thinking of you helps.  You do seem to be getting past the initial shock.  I bet the support group will be very interesting to attend...!
  Cheri

Do not feel bad. It is good to ask questions and to also vent what you are feeling. It can help you come to terms with what is going on.  Keep the faith.