I was reading your post and although I haven't gone through what you are going through, I just wanted to say hello, I am thinking about you and I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Thinking good thoughts for you, nanik

I am so sorry you are feeling so unwell.  I hope you feel much better soon.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.
{{{Rebel Spirit}}}

God bless you and your loved ones.

icey

Rebel, what you're experiencing is normal.  I know that doesn't help much but try to keep in mind that this too shall pass.  I remember thinking that I just couldn't go another day but I always got through it.  The chemo does have a cumulative effect for most people which is why the end of treatment is rougher than the beginning.  But I don't want to discourage you; you have to remember that quality of life will return.  The chemo side effects are a necessary evil in order to keep this ilness at bay.

Hang in there, girl.  You are not alone and we are here to support you!

Christa

I'm two weeks off my sixth and last chemo and was utterly surprised at the cumulative effect of the treatments.  The last really was the hardest and I wasn't sure I'd make it for the malaise and fatigue.  Today I feel more like myself and am finding each day I have a little more of me back, but it's been really hard.  I found that if I took small doses of the pain med I could cope with the depression and sleep off the fatigue.  I remember reading James Harriott's books about being a vet in England, All Things Bright and Beautiful, and he said sometimes the best cure for a sick animal was to give it a huge shot of sedative so it could sleep off the illness.  I really took the time to just sleep and sleep after this last round and I think it was a good choice.
Hang in there--many of us have been there and lived to tell the tale.
Louana

Hi...If I was near by I would be at your side in a flash..though I am 6 months past chemo...I remember it well. Until then I could not understand how someone could be too tired to lift their head.  I was on antidepressants prior to chemo...it took about 3 mo for them to kick in for me..I am told that is the usual time frame. It is easy to feel depressed when we are exhausted all the time...the best thing you can do for yourself is sleep when possible.  My joint and bone pain was the worst pain I have ever experienced (and I have given birth 7 times..all natural!) You must be getting Neulasta injections....thats what got me. It sounds to me as if your team isn't helping you control your pain as they should..maybe you need to try to make them realize how bad it really is for you...If I remember correctly...the third and fourth treatments were my worst..I don't know why...don't try to be tough ...let people know you are having a tough time..don't be a tough "Rebel Spirit"...you have nothing to prove..all you have to do is get through this....I promise it does get better. I am usually the strong and calm one in any situation...when I was going through what you are experiencing I just got very quiet..I did have the meds I needed...one of the meds for nausea calmed me to the point of helping me sleep.....I also had a script for Ambien for nights when sleep was difficult..I was deadly honest with my oncologist....he is a very compassionate man and a wonderful partner for me and my husband
in our battle to beat this disease.  Now is not the time for you to be tough..allow someone else to be the protector right now and if nobody has stepped up then tell someone you need for them to do just that....you will reclaim the reins when you are through with this battle...it does take awhile...I am still tired but nothing at all like what you are experiencing...Please do talk when you are strong enough...don't push yourself and don't ever come down on yourself. You are a heroine.....we all know it..someday you will know it too.
Peace be with you.
dian

You all have been through so much and I'm sitting here thinking about all of you . I wish I was close enough to help everyone.  I didn't go through the chemo, but a friend of mine did.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I teach in a parochial school and with have my class pray for a special intention for all of you tomorrow. Please try to keep your chins up.  I know all too well about depression. You'll be fine. We are all here to help you. Especially those who have experienced what you are  going through.  Kathy

Hi Rebel
You are not alone in your feelings I tell you a day does not go by when I do not feel sorry for myself!!  In cry, get mad, I hurt and a whole slew of other things. I finished my sixth Chemo and it is really making me tired and rundown. I am soooo looking forward to the last one, not really sure if I have one or two more only one I hope. The knee pain is the worst for me and not being able to walk outside every day is a bummer too. I know this may sound harsh but we are having poison put into us and just being strong enough to deal with that is a Miracle within itself!! I was really resistant to pain killers in the beginning but now I use them, Vicodin and Oxycodone, they do not seem to disrupt my life and do get rid of the Pain. I was off of Chemo  for about nine months and I was feeling well enough to be back at the Gym and almost ready to go back to work. I was also helping out 25 hours a week at a local Senior Center, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will make it there!!
Kathy

I too haven't been through this Rebel but just wanted to add my support. I'm so sorry you are feeling unwell. Hopefully you will be feeling bright as a button soon. Wishing you well ...

Rebel, please don't be so hard on yourself.  What you are going through is hell, no two ways about it.  You are due a down day!  We are here for you so vent away.  One day soon this will all be behind you and your experience will help so many others here.  We love you Rebel, you are stronger than you know.  Godspeed
~Tascha

Thank you all for responding. Today was a little better. I guess I'm dreading the next chemo, actually the few days after. I feel guilty for needing help sometimes. I am the one who always takes care of everyone. But you reminded me that my feelings are not wrong. I love all of you and cannot imagine trying to get through this without you.