hi, thanks for your replys, i understand better now which helps a little. suzsen i like what your mum said about trying to survive the traffic and that is so true, glad your mum is doing well. mickey - you are so true and wise in what you say. xx
Oops, got carried away and forgot my other main point. My mom also had some small nodules left after her surgery for Stage 3. We assume chemo took care of them because she's been in remission for 17 months after last chemo treatment (nothing on CT scans and CA125 under 35).
But even with her ovaries gone, this cancer can come back. (Notice I didn't say it WILL come back, but it MIGHT come back). Some little cancer cell somewhere survives the treatment and starts to multiply. So then they try another treatment, and hopefully it works, and there's another remission... as Mickey said, the cycle goes on.
I echo MickeyVicky. My aunt was undergoing chemo for ovarian cancer when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. I kept thinking that only an hour before that bombing, most of the people in that building would have pitied my aunt. Yet she was the one who outlived many of them by 2 years.
My mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer at age 67, a bit over two years ago. After surgery and chemo, she's in remission and doing well. The statistics say the cancer will probably come back eventually, although we are hopeful she will be in the minority that does not have a recurrance. Her drs keep telling her to "make the most of your chemo-free time," so we try to do that. She lives 1000 miles from me, and we try to visit as often as possible. She will be here next weekend, and we are travelling to see her as soon as school lets out, which is NOT the most convenient time in my kids' schedules or for my work -- but we're going anyway, because we don't postpone things with Mom any more!
Reminds me of that Tim McGraw song, "I hope someday you get the chance to live like you were dying."
Funny thing -- immediately after her surgery and diagnosis, my mom kept saying, "I always thought I'd die of a heart attack." I said, "Well you still can, if that's your goal." Twisted dark humor. Later, driving to chemo, she told my dad, "I don't know why I'm worried about cancer. We'll be lucky to survive the traffic on this highway!"
That is a difficult question, because there is no 'set' answer for it. First, the fact that so much of the cancer was removed is good news. Concentrate on that fact for now.
The next step should be the continuation of your mother's chemotherapy when she has healed. Much depends on how well she responds. But, even if she can achieve a remission, there is truly no way of knowing how long she will maintain the remission. And, if she re-develops measureable cancer levels again, she can try treatment again...and as you can see, this process goes round and round until nothing further can be done, or she dies of some other condition.
What it all comes down to is comforting to me, but very distressing to some: we will all die at some point. Most of us do not know when, and thus we fail to take opportunities to truly live. Use this gift of time that you have been given to make the most of your relationship.