I just heard back from her mom and the fluid in the lungs had cancer cells in it.  So what exactly does that mean?

My mom, toward the end, couldn't keep down food either. She had fluid in her lungs, too, and the cancer was in her liver by then.   Not only was she severely swollen in the abdomen, but she had fluid in her legs as well.  The nurses and both doctors (the oncologist and her primary physician) told my father it was time for a hospice--she had three months left.  She was so far advanced, that the chemo wasn't working anymore, and all the drainings they did, didn't make any difference.The hospice, they said, would at least put her in more comfortable surroundings.  She never made it to the hospice. (my father was against it anyway) She passed a few days later.  

Did you get any more updates about your friend?  I didn't like the fact that the doctors were close-mouthed about my mom's condition.  I had to go outside her room after her primary physician visited her, and force an answer out of him! He said nothing to her about her condition, or her CA-125 number.  I had to go outside the room where he was writing in her chart and ask him what the hell was going on!  That's how I found out the cancer was in her liver.  Sorry to ramble on like this.  :(

Anyway--I'll be praying for your friend.  Please keep us informed.

Get the information about the hospice care and ring back your friend's mum.  She is including you in the palliative care of her daughter.  No one knows how much time anyone has. Don't concentrate on that right now.  It's very upsetting and sad, but what is needed right now is good care - the best.  Do that for your friend.

I just went through this with my best friend.  I was with her everyday from the time they released her from the hospital until she passed 3 months later.  She had the same thing couldn't eat and had fluid in the lungs which had cancer.  Her abdomen was very swollen due to the tumors growing.
There was no answer for when she was going to go.  It was very important for her to just have someone with her always.  She would wake up scared couldn't eat was in pain (pain management is extremely important)  Most importantly do whatever your friend wants.  Help your friend to get whatever needs to be done.  Helping my friend during her last days was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

deb in az

Christine - Thank you.  I found your post especially comforting.  Just to have some vague idea of a timeline is helpful.  In the beginning I was my friend's only support since none of her family is nearby.  Things are better now but it was very stressful for me and I wanted some idea of how long I would have to hold up for her.  We both used to work for hospice and are very aware of what they do.  Luckily her sister is flying in tonight to take over my friend's care.  It's just so hard for me with a full time job when I want to be there every day but can't.  

The doctors have not been very helpful.  My mom is a nurse and usually very straightforward but won't say anything to me either.  Why are people afraid to tell the truth?  Obviously we are going to find out anyway.  Why not let us deal with it as it happens and not after?  sorry, just needed to vent.

I'm very sorry for your friend, and I know what a strain it is to watch someone you care about suffer.  I would suggest just continuing to support her as much as your schedule can allow (I know it's hard though, if you're working full time).  I stayed with my mom in the hospital, along with my aunt.  If anything, praying for my mom helped ME stay somewhat calm.  

I think the doctors and nurses don't say anything, because maybe they're not sure of how you'll react.  I know when the nurse in ICU first mentioned the hospice for my mom, I didn't take it very well.  I finally lost it, and ran out of there, and sat in the waiting room in tears, not caring if the other people in there heard me!  But I finally got a hold of myself after that. Falling apart doesn't help anyone.

I didn't even KNOW what kind of ovca my mom had until the nurse in ICU opened her chart, and showed me what the doctor wrote (she had epithilial ovca).  I'm the type of person who wants questions answered--if at all possible.  I know I'll always have some unanswered questions.  I hate being in the dark.