Well there are good days and bad days as im sure you appreciate. It still hasnt sunk in i miss her terribly God knows how my Dad is staying so cheerful. I keep thinking towards xmas and i am absolutely dreading it i would cancel it if i didnt have kids.  Mum always used to bring a bottle of bubly and we'd have it in the kitchen while preparing xmas dinner. Im thinking of going back to work next week in order to keep busy I have great friends some who have been through this and they cope so it sort of inspires me but at the moment i cant imagine how you get used to it but i suppose you do.  My dads going in hospital tomorrow so i have him staying with me so hes not home alone.  Did the funeral go ok? and do you feel any better now its out of the way, someone told me thats when it hits you as it is so final.  I still have to go back for the ashes although im not sure what to do with them, ive told the kids im putting them on the fire surround so she can keep an eye on what they're up to!! Ive sorted out her clothes and given them to her friends and kept a few items myself because they smell of her, that was hard. Her house seems so empty and if im honest i dont like going there it upsets me.  How are your kids taking it? my son (12) has just carried on as normal (cant work him out) but my daughter(16) was very close to my mum and she is being very strong and adult about it but she still has her crying days.  Hope youre bearing up, take care.

the funeral was heart wrenching as you know yourself. but at the same time a beautiful tribute to a wonderful precious lady. i dont know how i have managed to get through this all from january really (like you) i think i have been grieving for mum since then, we only had two months from my dad passing away to my mums illness, it is very very hard to deal with isnt it? my 2 eldest sons 14 and 16 seem to be carrying on ok but very upset at the funeral etc., my little boy of 8 doesnt really understand whats happened, they were all so close to there nan i find it hard that they are still going out and getting on with things, suppose i should be glad really! like you i am just finding it all so hard, i have cried and cried most of today and just want her back. i dont know about you but i feel very robbed of many many more years and feel like an orphan now. well love to you and your family, and hope later on we can think of our mums with more smiles than tears. xx