Sick and tired of being sick and tired. User Group

I guess I am looking for a place to go when things get too bad. I don't know if this is that place, but.... I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, 15% of a liver (need a transplant, and because of the Methadone, I have little if any chance of getting on a list.), Hepatitis C, and am on 100mgs. of Methadone. I was an addict for 40 years. But have not used any illicit drug for 35 of those 40 years. I also suffer from severe depression that so far has not been successfully treated with medication. I guess now a lot of you have already judged me, and think that I got what I deserved. I guess that is why I am writing this. To see if I can receive some help or, as when I go to a doctor, just be judged for my past. I hope that is not the case because I am told that I do not have a lot of time left on this earth. I am a good man who has always taken good care of his parents and wife and kids. But, I know that means little to anyone because it seems doctors only see the addiction that I had a long time ago. Yes, I know I am still addicted to Methadone, but when no doctor will give me anything for for the pain that is caused by the RA, I take my relief where I can get it. If anyone out there is suffering, no matter why, maybe we can talk. To the rest of you that are judges, kiss my a&#! JohnD.