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MedHelp Member's Question

My long running addiction...

by Ryan, Mar 03, 2000 12:00AM


Writing this is harder than you can imagine.  



I have been addicted to narcotic painkillers for over 10 years now.  It all started when I was 16.  I'd steal a couple percocets from my grandfather's medicine cabinet.  I did this off

and on for many years without any regret or fear that I would become "truly" addicted to these things.  In the last 4 years, I ran into a steady supply of black market Vicodin ES tablets.

So my trend continued, take a handful per month to get high.  Alternating between taking my grandfather's pills and these Vicodin ES's.  



In the last 6 months, my addiction has come full swing.  I had a wisdom tooth pulled in October 99 and was fortunate (or unfortunate, you decide how to look at it) to have a dentist who

wasn't afraid to prescribe large amounts of Vicodin ES for my pain.  I manipulated him into prescribing more than 250 Vicodin ES tablets in a 45 day period.  (30 - 36 in each of 8 scripts)



After this, I've found it increasingly difficult to stay off of

these things.  I've even gone as far as to manipulate my regular

doctors to give me narcotic pain meds.  



The total irony is, I have a real condition now that requires narcotic pain medication and I can't get anyone to prescribe me

anything!! (middle back pain following lumbar puncture 2 months ago)



Make no mistake about it:  My thoughts obsess on obtaining any

hydrocodone or oxycodone containing products on a DAILY basis.

Half of it because of my 10 year habit, and the other half because of my back pain.   I AM ADDICTED.  LET THERE BE NO DOUBT!



What is my recourse?  I don't want to stay addicted to these things yet I love the feeling they give me.  It's my drug of

choice and no de-tox program is going to make me forget that

they make me feel on top of the world when I'm high!



Would I be a possible candidate for methadone treatment?  



Member Comments (27)

by Katie, Mar 03, 2000 12:00AM
Ryan...I totally understand what you are going through. Been there....done that. I have been hooked on...well, anything I can get my hands on! Mainly Lortab. And like you I can hardly imagine a day without them. My first waking thought is...do I have any lortabs and if not where can I get some. Now I have hit an all time low......I ran out of lortabs and my backup (friends who share their perscriptions) have ran out. I called my Dr. and he told me no!  Friend called hers and he said no!  So I've been without for 6 days now. The withdrawal sypmtons have subsided but there is a void in my life...mentally. I'm irritable and depressed. I was wondering if there is anyone out there who has been off these damn pills long enough to tell me ...do the mental symptons ever go away or am I doomed to crave this drug forever?  Please! Anyone who can answer this....Please do!!!!!

by brian, Mar 04, 2000 12:00AM
I have been addicted, on and off, to Lorcet (10 mg. hydrocodone), Percocet and/or oxycontin for about 3 years.  I have been through withdrawal probably 10 times during that period (usually when I run out and doc won't refill yet because it is too soon).  My experience with withdrawal has been that the first 3 days are the worst, then diminishing effects for the next 4-7 days.  Unfortunately, the depression is real, and it can last for as long as a month or more.  The good news is, usually it gradually improves and in some people lifts entirely in a few weeks.  It depends on your level of use, length of use, and biochemistry.  The best things to do sound trite, but are of value-eat well, get sleep and exercise.  Exercise will help release endorphines which will improve your mood.  (However, I have found that exercising before having all withdrawal totally over causes me to have a mini-withdrawal again.  I guess from releasing some stored opiates in fat cell).  Remember, although it seems like you will never feel "normal" you WILL.  Your dopamine levels are skewed right now, but will balance out.  Keep your hopes up and remember, you're not alone.  Best of luck and try to stay clean (that's the hardest part as you probably know).

by Sandi, Mar 04, 2000 12:00AM
No great words of wisdom here, I haven't been on the pill-go-round, cigs have been my weakness, and I know with my personality if I did start I would be right here posting about it in no time at all...but what I am curious about is where do you buy something like this on the street? Same way you get pot or crack or whatever? What is the street market value of pills?



Vicodin for wisdom teeth? OMG! I had all my wisdom teeth pulled & think I took ibuprofin. As for pain, I have back pain & find that anti-inflammatories work better for the actual pain than something like vicodin does...

by Katie-to Brian, Mar 04, 2000 12:00AM
Hi Brian! You said you had been addicted "off and on." Tell me....what made you go back once you were off? See, this is what worries me. Even though I'm off right now(not by choice) I have a gut feeling that if I had a chance to get hold of some lortab I'd do it in a hot minute! I'd hate to go through those withdrawals again but I almost think the "high" i get from the lortab is worth it. You said that it's possible to feel normal again?? Are you off right now and do you feel normal or do you crave that high? If you don't mind my asking...why were you on the pills in the first place? And has whatever problem you had that made you take the pills gone away or are you just dealing with it? If so....HOW do you deal with it? I'm also having a problem with that. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. i can't really exercise cause I have numerous heel spurs and just walking to the bathroom or kitchen causes much pain. that's not why I was on lortab....but it did help that too!I guess I need to start bicyle riding...easier on the heels.

Really I just want to know when this mental craving will go away!

by brian, Mar 04, 2000 12:00AM
Hi Katie.  I started taking painkillers for fun.  A friend had a continuing prescription and would give me some occasionally.  Eventually she tired of that and gave me the name of the doctor and told me to say I got terrible headaches.  That's how I ended up with a prescription for 100 Lorcet with 2 refills.  The rest is history.  Continued with same doc, found another to get more, had a friend (dentist) also prescribe occasionally.  Found I had a monkey on my back and went into a program.  Did great for 6 months, then one day decided "what the hell."  Got more and addicted again.  Withdrawal, then 2 months clean.  One day I forgot how bad withdrawal was and started thinking how great painkillers are.  So, back again to the Lorcet.  



I'm clean again, hopefully for good.  I think I will have occasional cravings for years, but I must not act on them.  When I get them it usually seems like I must act immediately.  I am learning that if I don't act, they pass.  If you can't use your feet for exercise, join the Y or somewhere you can swim.  I swear, the best way to stay off the stuff is to replace the high with a natural high.  Otherwise, you will sit around longing for that old feeling.  Believe me, I know.  If you kick in those natural opiate like substances (endorphines/dopamine) you will feel better and will not have as bad cravings.  Best of luck.

by Ryan, Mar 06, 2000 12:00AM
To Sandi:  



You don't get black-market painkillers on the street, literally.  I go through a friend's mom who has a never-ending

script for 100 ES's a month for the last 5 years.  Their street value around here (New Orleans Area) is anywhere from $3-$6 a pill.  I pay $4 for mine.  My roommate is SO addicted, he pays

$8 a pop for Percodans!  (I'm not that far gone, not yet)



And yes, I got Vic ES's for a wisdom tooth.  I'm the dentist's

computer tech so he might have just done that for me.  Who knows.

All I know is I went through over 250 ES's in 7 weeks.  (6-7 a day). That was MAJOR over-doing it for me.  I've even (gulp)

considered having another back tooth pulled just to get the pills!  (It is another wisdom tooth, just not bothering me yet)



To Katie:



Although the physical withdrawal symptoms will subside, as they

have in me countless times, usually after 2-3 days, the mental side will never go away as long as you associate pleasure with taking them.  I know this sounds like I've beat them, but I haven't.  I just know intuitively what it will take.  (I haven't found a way to dis-associate the pleasure with taking painkillers yet)





by Ryan - One more thing..., Mar 06, 2000 12:00AM


My desire to do Vicodin's has increased exponentially since I

quit smoking in August of last year.  I wonder what the connection is...

by TINA, Mar 11, 2000 12:00AM
I started taking vicodin for headaches. It worked and I felt great. Now the headaches are there all the time. I'm taking around 3 vicodins a day and want to stop. I also take celexa for PMS. Everyone has talked about the withdrawal sysmptoms but no one said what they are specifically. Can someone describe. I desperatley want to stop but the headaches won't go away. I take napralin (like alleve) for the headaches too but doesn't work as well as vicodin. I'm becoming a mental mess. Any advice???

by Brian to Tina, Mar 11, 2000 12:00AM
First the good news, 3 a day is not bad, and the withdrawal won't be so bad, especially if you taper.  In fact, you may not even be physically dependent or addicted (it depends how long you have been at this level).  The major withdrawal symptoms are: cramps, loose bowels, hot/cold flashes, runny nose and sneezing, aches, fatigue but inability to sleep, muscle twitching and minor depression.  Imagine the flu but ten times worse, without being able to sleep.  The worst is the first 3-4 days, then gradually diminishing.  By day 7-10 it is over, except the depression and fatigue and some other minor occasional symptoms can last for months.  It is different for everyone, and depends on amount of use, over what period of time, what substance and your own body chemistry.  If you taper (i.e. start slowly reducing your usual dosage) you can limit (but not totally eliminate withdrawal).  If you take 3 a day, one every 8 hrs, try taking .75 every 8 hrs for 3 days, then .5 every 8 hrs. for 3 days, and so on until the end.  If you have minor withdrawal symptoms, clonidine can help (it is a blood pressure med. and will aid with some symptom relief).  Remember, at your dosage, it won't be so bad.  Better to do it now rather than waiting until you get up in the 10 plus pills a day range.  Good luck and post if you have any more questions.

by Chrissie, Mar 29, 2000 12:00AM
Greeting to All,



My motto is "if you don't need painkillers, you don't take them."  I truly wish that I wasn't in the condition that I am in.  I have the rare form of neurofibromatosis, NF-2, and taking painkillers is crucial if I want to have any "quality of life" at all.  I've taken lortab to vicoden to oxycontin to oramorph... only to find that ms-contin would be a continual part of my life, probably until the day I pass on into the hereafter.  It is merely 1/4th of my total painkiller intake.  There are 3 others.  For you vicoden addicts, the total amount that I ingest would knock (and I repeat) knock you on your ass, but I can guarantee you would not feel your