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Day 3 of Withdrawal...here I go again!

by Sadgirl, Mar 06, 2000 12:00AM
Hi all:  Thank God for this forum.  I have been down this road before and unfortunately here I go again!  This is my 3rd day sober from Vicroprofen 7.5 (a doctor started me on this for migranes and gave me 4 refills) and I've been to hell and back.  If only I could keep the symptons of withdrawal in a pocket...so that I never forget how awful it feels.  The pain in my all my muscles feel like tight rubber bands that are going to snap in any minute.  The stomach cramps and chills/sweats, etc.  Now comes the hard part..the mental acceptance..I'm very depressed right now...and just keep reading these pages of testimony to keep me going...to keep me sane.  I tried to contact NA in Bergen County New Jersey...but they do not have a meeting near my town.  Should I go to AA and try to get help from there?  I need something to hold on too...forunately the pain I just went through is enough to "scare me straight"...but I know how quickly we forget...when we remember the high...thank you for listening.
Member Comments (64)

by brian, Mar 06, 2000 12:00AM
Carmen, I know what you are feeling.  It feels like hell and you think it will never go away but it WILL.  You are already heading toward the easier part, just hang in there. Call the NA 800 number to find a meeting (call 800 information).  If no meeting near you, go to AA.  Anywhere where you can find some support and caring.  I too have thought the pain of withdrawal would keep me clean.  It hasn't.  The pain fades from memory, while the highs from narcotics keep getting overly glorified and exaggerated in our minds.  I don't know about you, but each relapse I think how great the drugs will feel, and they feel less great for less time.  Within a few days at most all I am doing is feeding that monkey, hoping it won't turn into a 700 pound gorilla.  So, the moral is, don't rely on memories of withdrawal alone to help you stay clean.  There must be more.  Get in NA, stick with it, try to find a spiritual force in life (whatever it is for you personally) and fill your time with positive things.  Then and only then will you begin to find peace and serenity.  Remember, it sounds like BS sometimes but it really is true--take it one day at a time.  The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  If we focus on the thousand miles, we will never take that first step.  I don't normally pray (my own hangup), but tonight I am saying a special prayer for you and all those hurting people in this forum.

by shannon, Mar 06, 2000 12:00AM
since this is your third day things should start to get easier, physically anyway.  I am going through the same thing exept with loratabs 10mg. nad I have been taking them twenty a day for almost one year.  feel proud of yourself because you are accomplishing what many people including myself have not been able to do.

by derek, Mar 07, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Carmen,

I know how you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Even if you slip once or twice keep the flame alive - you will make it in the end.

by Carmen, Mar 07, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Brian, Shannon and Derek:



Thank you so much for your lovely words of encouragement and wisdom.  It is amazing what the power of love, prayer and support can do!  I am a stranger to you and yet your words reached me and showed me a "Higher Power" at work.  I hurt inside (the physical pains are subsiding), but just reading your messages this morning...gives me hope for today.  I will call my nearest AA group - thank you again - for your prayers and for caring.  I only hope to do the same for someone, someday...Carmen

by brian, Mar 07, 2000 12:00AM
Carmen, I'm glad to hear the physical withdrawal is getting better.  As you know, each passing hour will make it easier.  Then of course the tough part starts...the mental cravings, etc.  Just remember, they too will pass.  Keep everyone posted on how you're doing and stay strong.  Millions have been there before you and have resumed happy, productive lives.  You can too!!

by Neena, Mar 07, 2000 12:00AM
TO CARMEN!

Hang in there...i have been there.  Right now i am still taking the stuff (Vicoden ES) but soon, the stash will run out and i'll be there, unless i can get a hold of some more.  I have stopped before...i found that if i just kindof put it out of my head and went for a long walk i felt much better.  You are on your 3rd day and i think the worst is over for you.  Take walks...volunteer somewhere...withdrawel from codiene will NOT kill you. You have made it through the worst of it...hang in lady.  Rest when you can and take a sleep aid if you have any.  Good luck and you can email me...***@****

by Neena, Mar 07, 2000 12:00AM
ONE MORE THING CARMEN...I forgot...one more thing...When i get really down and am feeling sorry for myself and am suffering from the withdrawels i always sneak into my daughters room at night...(she is 13 mos.) and watch her sleep.  It reminds me how silly all of this nonsense is.  My simple addiction...cannot compare to my love for her...Do you have something or someone in your life that you love more than anything?? more than the pills??  It kind of brings things into perspective for me.  Good luck and email me if ya want to.  ***@****

by derek, Mar 08, 2000 12:00AM
I am also battling to get off the Propoxyphene. My friend (a doctor) helped me to cut down to about 3 capsules per day but over the last week or so I have slipped badly. Yesterday he asked me if I was thinking of suicide. Although I said no I must admit that it had crossed my mind.

Its just that however hard I try I don't seem to be making any headway. Apart from the physical dependance, I'm sure that there is a physchological component to my addiction.

When I read of all the brave people out there who have tackled it and won I feel very humble.

Please somebody - say a prayer for me.

by Brian to Derek, Mar 08, 2000 12:00AM
Derek, part of this horrible disease process is the despair that accompanies getting the drugs out of your system.  We have all been there, and I for one have had fleeting thoughts of ending it all.  I think those are normal when you feel like ****.  If they become anything more than fleeting, you must get some real help, even if that means going inpatient somewhere.  



You may not be able to taper off even with this doctor's help.  If he doesn't know much about addictions, you might be better getting an addiction specialist.  I have been detoxed a few times with Buprenorphine and it makes the detox MUCH easier.  See if this doc knows about it and is willing to try it.  I don't think they have it out in pill form yet, but the intramuscular injections are easy (or he can give them to you).  I was detoxed in 5 days (day one I gave myself the injection every 6 hrs., day 2 every 8 hrs, etc.)



Hang in there, you WILL make it.  The despair will lift and you'll have your life back.  Good luck and I'm praying for you.  Brian

by Katie, Mar 08, 2000 12:00AM
Carmen,how are you doing now? it's been 5 days? are you still having any of the physical struggles? I've been off lortabs for about 1 and1/2 weeks and I feel like you....been to hell and back. Now the mental part is really kicking in. It's hard for me to even get out of bed. Reading the posts here have really helped me, though. I know I'm not alone. Matter of fact I was surprised at how many others are going through this. I didn't even realize that my withdrawals were what they were till I started coming here. The chills and stomach pain and muscle aches...I thought I had the flu, over and over and over. Couldn't figure out why I was sick all the time..now I know.

I start feeling weak and thinking about getting more lortabs and I come here and read some more postings...seems to help keep me strong. But boy do I miss those damn pills!

hang in there...let me know how you're doing.

by Katie from Carmen, Mar 08, 2000 12:00AM
Katie:  Has it been 5 days!! Wow!! I guess these past few days have gone in a blink of an eye.  I am at work right now and keep going back to this forum for reassurance, guidance and healing.  These are the people Dr. Steve, Brian, Derek (how are you doing?), Shannon, Neena and yourself who have helped me keep it together.  To all of you and those who did not write but sent prayers...thank you...thank you!  I don't think I could've gone those 5 days without you guys...truly..and now I wish I can help you, too.  Katie..I really, really pray for your strength.  I miss those pills too..and pray I will not go down that road again!  But, am taking it one day at a time...everyday like Brian said.."one step at a time".  This is what you must do..let the moment pass and keep on living.  Cause I know how numb inside and outside I felt with those pills and that's not living...it's a mask and a make believe world.  We must learn to love ourselves and live again.  Thanks for caring...and hang in there.  I hope others who share in this same pain, know, that you're not alone.  Keep in touch.  My prayers are with you!

by Brian to Carmen, Mar 08, 2000 12:00AM
Your post made me feel so good.  I too take strength from this forum and knowing you are on the way back to the land of the living is very comforting.  Keep focused and don't let the memory of how you felt during the worst of the withdrawal fade.  Remember, don't make the same mistake I have and expect that memory alone to keep you clean.  It won't.  Recovery, I am finally learning, requires work.  It just doesn't happen on its own.  And as someone with 10 years clean said to me, what do you have more important in your life than spending a bit of time keeping yourself alive and well.  You have embarked upon a wonderful journey which will have its mountains and valleys.  "Just keep your eyes on the prize."  Brian

by kelly, Mar 09, 2000 12:00AM
thanks for the words of comfort, brian. I just can't tell you how much it's helped get me through this. down to 2- 10 mg oxy per day, about a week ahead of the plan. are the oxy's too strong to step down from? should I go get something else from the DR to make the final leap, or just suck it up and do it? I stated tapering from 240 mgs per day six weeks ago. I'm jonesing for my 10mg by the tenth hour but I strugle to wait for twelve hrs before taking the next 10mg. it's only been a couple of days like this, but I can't tell if I'm prolonging the misery or keeping the withdraw to a minimum. I be interested in anything you have to say. I really look forward to comung here and reading everyone's story. It's the reason I bumped my taper scheadule early. to try to put an end to all of this, but I'm only so strong. did I mention that I been functioning at work and at home as if nothings wrong, I'm too ashmed to tell the kids daddy fighting a nasty addiction. I don't know what has me more worn down ,the withdraw or the sharade. Either way I've got to find the streangth to see this thing through, and you  all sure have helped. I hope thats of some comfort to some of you.

by brian, Mar 09, 2000 12:00AM
Kelly, your strength in kicking this IS a comfort to all of us.  You can step down from the level you are, but there will be some withdrawal (as you can tell from when you get to the 10th hour).  It won't be horrible, just feeling like **** for 3-5 days.  If you can, get some hydrocodone (vicodin or the like), only a small amount (like 20) and substitute 2 every 6 hrs, then 1.5 every 6 hrs, etc. until you are done.  It would make the final step off a bit smoother.  In addition, if you can get it from your doc, get some clonidine.  It also will make the last few days off easier.  I don't think Xanax of Valium are very good for chemically dependent people; however, I think for a few days they might assist in keeping you comfortable.  Whatever you do, remember, the withdrawal is uncomfortable and feels like it will last forever, but it won't kill you.  We've all been there and made it through and you will too.  Best of luck and keep us posted.  Brian

by Sandi, Mar 09, 2000 12:00AM
Hi Kelly, Just wanted to let you know I come by this forum & lurk often & am rooting for you!! Do it for that baby!!!

Do you guys know what you have done for me? My Mom went through some major hell with pills, she has basically checked out on us 4 times now, each time we had to go through her house & get rid of her stash, well this time instead of flushing them all, I kept some of them "just to see" well, fortunately I did some research on what she had (vicodin, klonopin, percocet & T3's, flushed the tylox & oxycontin) & ended up here and have read your stories BEFORE I took any of them. You have kept me from experimenting with any of them, I have an addictive personality & know I would be right here posting with the gang...thanks for saving me the pain!

by kelly, Mar 11, 2000 12:00AM
I feel myself control getting stronger by the day, yesterday went untill bed time untill I had to take 10mg oxy to stop the twitching and tossing and turning. When I kicked the Vicodin ES last year, it was the same way. I was able to use a pill cutter and take less amd less to help sleep, so I think I'm going to be able to do the same this time until I can sleep on my own. I've been sucking strength from this forum like a newborn to breast