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Terrified to start detox
by cutie pie, Feb 09, 2001 12:00AM
I have been addicted to vicodin and norco for 4 years, i didnt know untill the first time i ran low that i would have withdrawals.I have to take 8 to 10 pills a day just to not get the withdrawal symptoms.I'm 58 years old. do you think i should go as an in patient to try to detox. How long untill i will feel normal again. Please help, i'm terrified. Thank you Lois
Well, the vicodin got out of control a long, long time ago. From an old injury, combined with arthritis, and a prescription-friendly HMO doctor, I started with the vic 5/500s - went to the 7/750s (ES) and occasional Norco - Lortab/Lorcet. But mainly vic ES. Usually 6 or more a day, and for well over 5 years.
Living from refill to refill, sometimes coming up short, finding other sources and basically planning my life around vicodin and my refills. Have to go somewhere..? Make sure to bring enough vic. Busy day at work? - bring some extra. Have to work on the car, grab a few - might as well enjoy it. On the road a week or so, make sure I know where I can get a refill - (sound familiar..??)
Hey listen, I finally just got sick of the ball and chain effect, and I knew this was getting worse all the time (and I'm sure you know the part about the sex drive). This **** just had to stop. I knew this for quite a while, too.
If you're trying to get away from vicodin, please consider some of what I have found out. Most important - you CAN do it, really (yes, YOU)..! One thing that really helped me a LOT was this web site, reading and seeing that others were experiencing the same thing I was. It gave me some idea what to expect and I saw what worked for them. I really thank those folks for that.
My first big step was to talk to Dr. Feelgood about this. First, in case I needed medical help, and second (this was hard) it brought my supply to an end. I don't think you can actually quit if you still have it laying around.
So I gradually tapered off, by about 25% every few days, until I was down to 1/2 AM and 1/2 PM. Stayed there for a few days... then quit. I was surprised that even taking so little, the withdrawals still hit pretty strong, but the worst was over after about 4 days or so.
The first few days were pretty bad, and I still had to go to work. That made it real tough. Man, I was reading stuff on message boards, religious sites, looking anywhere I could to find some encouragement or strength. Something to hang on to.
I still pretty much felt like **** the 2nd week, but not anywhere near like the 1st. It was just tolerable, but that was all. By the start of week 3, all the effects from withdrawal were gone, but it was bothering me a lot that I just could not get myself motivated to do or enjoy anything, and I was starting to think maybe I never would. I think that during this phase, I was starting to feel like maybe I shouldn't have quit if this is what life is going to always be like. Kind of sucked.
That empty feeling, and the total lack of motivation stuck with me, but faded very gradually over the next couple of weeks. I'm now at week 6, and can you believe this - I feel pretty damn good. I wake up in the morning (yes, I can sleep now), get my coffee, and go on about my day feeling pretty good about myself, and finally feeling like I enjoy life. Amazing..!! And it keeps getting better. I don't even think about that **** anymore. In fact, honestly, if I had a bottle of vicodin in front of me now, I'd flush it dowm the toilet (no, I wouldn't mail it to you - LoL).
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to be patient, and just make yourself stay with it. All the bad **** seems to come in phases, but it does get better - gradually - but the bad eventually faded away. It will for you, too.
So after all is said and done, was it worth it..?? Yes. God yes it was. I'm free - finally. I'm starting to really enjoy living again, and I can't tell you how much my family appreciates this, too.
Wow this got long. Sorry. I'll post later about what over-the-counter meds I used to deal with such things as not being able to sleep, the runs, lack of energy, etc.
But again, my sincere thanks to those who shared their experiences here. You helped me more than you'll ever know. I felt like maybe my experience 'might' just help someone else.
You're age is somewhat of a concern to me when contemplating the cold turkey approach. While you're free to follow the advice that follows, in-patient detox would be the safest and, assuming you screen the place you go for detox first (to make sure they're not cold turkey fanatics -- there are such places), probably the best choice.
But read this first, in the event you decide to go it solo:
I'm not a doctor but someone who will be even more useful to you -- an rx opiate addict of thirty years and counting. I've copped, used and cold turkey'd them all and I can and will tell you more than the doctor will about what's coming.
I assume you've tried tapering with the usual results - harder than hell, isn't it?
The great good news, my friend, is that you're barely using above the prescribed dosages and frequency of those mythical creatures know as "normies" in AA/NA meetings. Lucky *******! I once kicked a 75 Vicodin per day habit (yes, I mean seventy-five pills per day) lying on the concrete floor of the Orange County jail intake unit. Just thought I'd add a little perspective for whatever it's worth.
Here's the deal. You're withdrawal symptoms will start making themselves known in about 10 to 12 hours. You'll ache, especially in the thigh muscles but, really, you'll start hurting everywhere. You'll feel like you just can't concentrate or sit still. You'll start feeling some anxiety - just an overall feeling of blunted panic, I guess you could say. Now - very important - before you allow yourself to get into withdrawal, go the supermarket and buy a 24-pill supply of brand-name Imodium anti-diarrhea tabs. Get the brand name. They're more potent, no matter what anyone says. Keep them close to you. At the first twinge of the runs, even just a hint or a growling sound from your diaphragm area - take two Imodium at once. Just chuck 'em. Don't wait til you're drizzling green goo into the bowel, which, by the way, will burn your ass something awful. So, anyway, use the Imodium aggressively. If the feeling comes back, hit it with two more - no half measures. Use the full dose each time you use them.
Do you have access to some valium or Xanax or Librium or Klonopin? These are benzos that will help immensely with the anxiety. If you've got them. I recommend using a strong, sleep-inducing dose the first day of your withdrawal and then tapering the dose down gradually to nothing in about 4 days - that's about how long your withdrawal will be upon you. Of course, with some, it lasts even longer. Anyway, if you don't have any Valium, go to the health food store and buy some Valerian Root extract pills. They have a distinctly valium-like calming effect that will let you get some sleep.
Now, the muscle aches will get worse as you go into day two. If you have a Jacuzzi, live in the thing! Or if not, take lots of hot baths to soak those leg muscles as often as possible. It's about the only thing that helps, but it's very effective and will let you get to where you can relax on the couch or bed and watch some good flicks. Have a hot bath or Jacuzzi revved up all the time and use it every time those muscle aches come back. They're a real *****, believe me, but will subside in about four days or say.
Need I say don't -DON'T- try to self medicate your way around withdrawal with alcohol or sleeping pills like seconol or phenobarb. Forget alcohol altogether. That means beers, too. Alcohol will undue your whole detox if you let it.
Take lots of short walks. Nothing strenuous, just get out of the house and walk and think. Take a Walkman with you with some energizer tunes or even some mellow stuff. Preferably not the music you got high too. It acts too much like a trigger.
Now, if you can, and I'm hoping you can, schedule this detox so that at least the first few days are on a weekend. Retire from the world for a few days. It's best that way for you and the people around you.
Eat all you want, whatever suits your fancy. If you're using the Valiums or one of those other benzos I mentioned, they'll make you eat like a pig. This is good. Also, take some good vitamins every day. Be aggressive about it. Also, while at the health food store, get some Milk Thistle capsules. The liver is one of the few organs in the human body that, with a little cooperation from you, will repair itself. See, all the Tylenol in the Lortabs has already taken a toll that needs to be addressed if you're to fully recover. The Milk Thistle will help this healing process along.
Now, what am I forgetting … Oh yeah, and it's a big Oh yeah - cravings, that is, the psychological compulsion telling you to hell with this detox and just chuck a Lortab and everything will be cool again. The Valiam or Xanax or Valerian Root is good for minimizing the cravings. So is exercise, especially aerobic exercise like jogging, bikings, step mastering, fast walks, lap swimming. These exercises encourage your brain to produce endorphins, which are the substances that your brain is thinking the hydrocodone in your lortab are.
A large part of withdrawal stems from the fact that your brain has stopped making natural endorphins because it's noticed that you've found an outside source for them. The brain is constantly trying to keep it's "brain soup" in balance and will do things like stop making endorphins in order to compensate for all these ersatz endorphins you're giving it. Trouble is, the brain can't tell the difference. Then, suddenly, you cut off it's source for these endorphins and the reaction to not having them is what withdrawal is all about. It will take time for your brain to start making its own again, but it will. The human brain is the coolest organic "device" god has thought of - so far, anyway. Trust it. You might feel a little listless and clumsy for a while, but it will pass and you'll be OK.
Well, that's it. Simple, really. "I've done it a thousand times," as the smoker said.
Good luck, Cutie Pie, but do consider the in-hospital detox route. Just make sure they bring you down with something comfortable like lots of Valium or buprenorphin, etc. ***Stay away from the places that won't tell you what they're going to do for you. And, remember, you're not committed, you can walk out anytime you think you've been assigned to Dr. De Sade and aren't having your needs addressed.
Good luck.
It won't be fun.
But as Hemingway tells us, the sun also rises. And it will rise for you one morning and you'll feel reborn. And you will be.
Someday, I hope to wake to such a morning. It hasn't happened for me yet. But I help where and when I can so that my own folly and suffering, in the final reckoning, will not have happened for nothing.
tom
I would like to say again, though... be sure to talk with your Dr. about this before you start. Tom said to plan it so your first couple of days are a weekend. VERY good suggestion. I wish like hell I could have, but circumstances didn't allow.
Yep, Immodium AD is a must. I tried meds that were available to me at the time (stuff at home) to get thru the first few days. Had some Paxil 40 Mg. Good Lord was that ever a BIG mistake. Well, I learned. Arthritis strength Ecotrin or Excedrin. One thing, maybe just me, I could barely force myself to eat for the first 3 days. Food tasted very bland, and could only eat a few bites. But that passed.
Cutie, I'm pretty close to your age. It may well be a factor, but certainly won't stop you. I don't know about any other medical issues you may have, but please...please remember... when the bad stuff starts - IT WILL PASS...!! It won't stay bad all that long. You WILL beat this thing. Keep reminding yourself. I had to, and it's over now. It will be for you, too.
I wouldn't touch that **** with a ten foot pole now.
Let us know how you're doing.
I too was addicted to pain pills,taking sometimes in excess of 40 per day.Eight days ago,I stopped COLD.The first four days were a horror with insomnia and a feeling of utter hopelessness.Each day afterward has gotten increasingly better to where I am already able to function almost normally.I will not lie to you,it is the hardest thing I ever have had to do,but it is important to remember thet it IS worth it and that you are NOT alone.God bless you.