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I did pretty good up at my parents' house, but it's being back here that's beating me down.
I lowered my dose from 60 mg or so of oxy's (crushed), to 15 to 20 mg of loratab per day all week long. I would take 5 mg at a time spread out through the day. The only trouble i had was sleeping. I had to take a tiny piece of xanax (about 1.3 mg -- just 1/8 of the 10 mg bar). I would go to sleep eventually. I was waking up soaked the first few mornings, but it went away. I managed fine on the 3 to 4 doses each day and was pretty proud of myself. Plus, i think i even gained a few pounds. I really look pretty darn good!!!! :)
I came home this morning, and i've slipped quite a bit. Just being back home and around 'it' again, i'm just not very strong! :(
I really haven't had too much w/d pain through all of this, but then again, my levels never went below 15 mg per day.
I need to find some strength to beat this thing. Being back home was tough because my parents questioned me quite a bit about what was happened, exactly, with my husband and his addiction. They know things are not good, but have no idea about my problem. I just can't tell them about my problem, EVER!!!! It would kill them i just know it.
I'm going to try to get my head together again, i was doing so well, it would be a shame to loose ground now.
Just eating better, and keeping the toxins lower in my body made me feel great, and i was looking like a million bucks!
I had a great time with my kids, and they enjoyed spending time with their grandparents so much. Another very difficult thing, leaving them!!! :( Talk about guilt! I feel so guilty living so far away. We are basically stuck, we have a house down here, and claimed bankruptcy almost 2-years ago, and couldn't get another home. Plus, my husband works in the boating industry, and we would need to live near the ocean, and it's cold up north, and the season isn't all yeararound like here in FL. I've been in FL for 18-years now, and it's never gotten any easier being far from my family, and they've never let up hoping that we would return. With each additional child, it seems like it's gotten worse and worse.
Soemtimes i wish that i wasn't such a sensitive person, and that my family didn't care so much. Everything seems to hurt so much all of the time. They will never be happy unless we live much closer. Why does life have to be so sad! I just wish i could be really really happy for a change. It's been a long long time.
Thanks for listening.
Lv Jenny
I like your idea about computer terminals at rest areas, and it's probably coming soon. Hell, we can't possibly live without computers and cell phones, can we? Life is changing that fast even here in the boonies.
As far as the original question about hypertension; I wish that was my only concern at this point. If you were to read about all the side effects of any AD, you would wonder indeed if any of them were intended to be used by anybody other than someone who intentionally wanted to suffer from depression. Think about it! J.B.
We also had a "party line" telephone system in those days. Six other people could and did listen in to everyone's conversations because we were all on the same line. Talk about gossip! Yep, I'm dating myself here, LOL. J.B.
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