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Finding a rehab
by Jen's Mom, Jul 14, 2001 12:00AM
Where is the best resource for finding a good, but affordable rehab center. My daughter is in the process of detoxing from orlaam, but says she feels that she will need to go to an in-house rehab center.
She is 29 years old, married about 3 years ago. Unknown to her, her husband was on drugs. After being unable to convince him to get off the drugs, she became extremely depressed and got on the drugs herself. After a year on Lortab, she left her husband, went into hospital for 3 days to detox and then went to methadone clinic. She divorced her husband, and moved out of town to get away from him and the local drug scene. She lost her job (social worker) because she could not function during the time before she went into the hospital.
She was on methadone for about 6 months, then switched to orlaam. She now has no insurance and has not been able to get a good job because of her past problems and being tied to the clinic.
How do you find help in this situation?
She is 29 years old, married about 3 years ago. Unknown to her, her husband was on drugs. After being unable to convince him to get off the drugs, she became extremely depressed and got on the drugs herself. After a year on Lortab, she left her husband, went into hospital for 3 days to detox and then went to methadone clinic. She divorced her husband, and moved out of town to get away from him and the local drug scene. She lost her job (social worker) because she could not function during the time before she went into the hospital.
She was on methadone for about 6 months, then switched to orlaam. She now has no insurance and has not been able to get a good job because of her past problems and being tied to the clinic.
How do you find help in this situation?
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light upon us all,
Wizard
Thank you for your reply. We are trying to find something in the south. The problem with my daughter trying to get help from former co-workers is she is embarassed and does not want them to know about her drug problem.
We can afford to help her with the cost if it is afordable. Most of the private facilities I have found information on cost $6,000-$12,000 & up for 30 days and we cannot afford that. I hoped to find a church sponsored program, but any good program would be great. These seem to be easier to find for men than women. Thank you for your prayers.
I am in a similar boat, my husband is at rehab right now, thank god we had insurance, and his sister to help with the remainder.
I, too, have become addicted to drugs, not just because of him, but it was my way of numbing myself so that my pain wouldn't be unbearable. It gets away from you real quick, it is incredible.
I'm not sure what state she lives in, i live in Florida, and i know that there are many rehabs locally, that are state-funded. What they do is they work off of a sliding scale according to income. One in particular, is only $1,500 for a 28-day program.
I would hope that this state isn't the only one that offers such programs. I would try to call some numbers in your local phone book, not the advertised, bigtime rehabs, but ones that look like they might be state-funded.
There's one that is used for people that they send as part of their jail-term. You might want to call the local jail and ask where they send people. That might sound scarey to you, but i know that this rehab here, that takes people from jail, has a very good program. They are the ones who charge $1,500, they don't even take insurance...
When someone needs help, and is really ready, they will go to anything, anywhere, and crawl on their hands and knees to get any help available.
That would be my best suggestion. There should be a NA or an AA help number in your local phone book, and they would have much more information than i could provide, not knowing exactly where you are located.
Good luck, and you are a good mom for supporting your daughter as you are... It is a very difficult thing, this addiction, and i know she needs as much support as possible right now. You might try getting some counseling yourself, because she will need your support, and it's hard when you have so many questions of your own that are unanswered. Try to get some counseling for you, you deserve it!
Good luck!
Jenny
http://www.asam.org/
The easiest way to find numbers and meetings and answers in general (all free):
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Good Luck.
Thomas
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the mist of all your fears and your insanity you stop dead in your tracks and the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH. Enough crying and fighting or struggling to hold on. And, like a child calming down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your Awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness to come galloping over the next horizon. Your come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there are not always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter. And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with YOU, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are and it's OK (they are entitled to their own view and opinions). And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for what they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is the result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the **** you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect from a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process, you learn to go by your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and leaning to saying NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or more important because of the man or woman on your arm, or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
And you look in the mirror and come to terms that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head, and how you "stack up". You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...that it is your right to want things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover that cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve, and that life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achive success, you need direction, discipline and perserverance.
You also learn that noone can do it alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great baron robber of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into it and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give into fear is to give into the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to live it squandering under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to good, unsuspecting people. On these occassions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God, or your Higher Power is not punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil at it's most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things you take for granted, things that millions of people on the earth can only dream about: a full refridgerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you start to take responsibilty for yourself, by yourself, and you try to make a yourself a promise to never betray yourself and never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a windchime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart, and your higher power by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin, as best as you can to design the life you want to live.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
PS I hope this helps everyone as much as it has helped me. Sorry about posting it in two separate posts but I accidentally hit the "submit" button before I was done typing. Love, Maryanne