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MedHelp Member's Question

How to quit benzodiazapines after 22 years of usage?

by angst, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
I have PTSD and borderline personality d/o.  I am not a strong borderline.  I hold down jobs for long periods and I'm not sexually overactive.  I've been in therapy for 7 years with a PhD in psychology.  All my doctors, since I was 14 years old have placed me on one or another benzo.  I've tried SSRI's and the new neuroleptics.  I've tried all the new anticonvulsants.  I am a nurse without a license because of my addiction to opiates.  I live in a state where methadone is illegal for treatment.  I travel across state line to obtain it.  This time it saved my life.  I do not misuse the xanax or whatever benzo I am taking at the time.  I know one of the side effects is memory loss.  I cannot function without it.  I am home bound.  I cannot work, take my child for outings, or drive.  Will I ever be able to get off the benzodiazapines like the licensure board wants.  I do not want to practice nursing right now.  I do not want to be around the drugs.  I am changing my career.  Do I need a good psychiatrist instead of my internist who treats me for asthma.

Asthma is another reason I take the benzodiazapines.  A SL xanax will help stop a broncospasm after I've had my albuterol inhaler much quicker than without the xanax.  What are your thoughts?  I always tell my doctors that I am an opiate addict on methadone.  I give them a list of all my meds.  I take trazadone to help sleep.  But I usually get less than 18 hours of sleep anyway.  Can you help?
Member Comments (32)

by jafco, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: angst
Read my response to your post under the "Xanax" thread. You need to get on a longer acting benzo like Klonopin. They also suggest taking Tegretol too. You need to reduce the dosages VERY gradually. Here is the link I provided earlier.



http://members.dencity.com/BenzoBusters/xanaxbusters1.htm



Jafco



by angst, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: Jafco
Thanks for the link.  I just wonder why I should change meds if they are working for me?

by jafco, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: angst
I must have misunderstood. I know they are working for you, they do for me as well, but I thought you wanted to get off this stuff. The reason for changing is that it is much easier to wean yourself off of a longer acting benzo than a shorter acting benzo like Xanax. Your a nurse, so I'm sure you understand about the different half lives of certain drugs. I would imagine you probably know more than I do. I'm by no means an expert, but I have done quite a bit of research into this and it seems to make very good sense.



God Bless



Jafco

by Creamie, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: Jafco
I've also been on xanax a long time, doin, an average of 2mg day, I have 75 of the 0.5's would like to be off in a month. The site you posted, I cannot get on. AOL won't accept the address. Any suggestions? Thanks...Nancy

by jafco, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: creamie
The link is good, I just tried it out. Just copy and paste it into your browser and it will work.



Here is how you do that if you don't know already.



Highlight the link that I provided by dragging your mouse over it while holding down the left mouse button.



Then press CTRL C on your keyboard to copy it.



Go to your browser, click where you would normally type the address and press CTRL V to paste it in.



Then press Go or whatever on your browser.



If your typing it in manually, make sure you have not made any typographical errors.



Jafco

by Seamstress, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: angst
I am currently detoxing from Xanax - 6 mgs a day habit.  I abused it for about 6 years on and off, mostly on.  I used to be able to just stop but the last time I tried I started hallucinating and having extreme depersonalization and really weird spasms of whole muscle groups.  I was told by a doctor that these were a form of seizures and I was about to have real seizures.  Fortunatly for me, I couldn't take it and caved and took some Xanax.  A whole handful to be exact which could have been as much as 10 mgs.  At that point, I didn't care. It was too scary to continue.



I have since switched to Valium and am at the end of a long valium taper.  This is the way to go, trust me. Slow and easy with a long acting benzo. Withdrawl symptoms are minimal and even when they're bad, only last a couple of days. This is the same theory mentioned by jafco re using klonopin except valium is even longer acting.  



I have also been diagnosed with BPD, also mild and I am not entirely convinced that it was not mini withdrawls which can produce identical symptoms.  Before I abused Xanax, I was an alcoholic and alcohol detox is very similar.  I noticed the onset of the rage when I quit drinking. The borderline stuff is manageable without benzos cause I've done it. I am an active person and when I feel one of the episodes coming on, I jog.  Unless it's midnight.  Then I pace until I wear myself out. It really helps to have a person in your life who will set limits on your behavior.  Because if they won't let you go there, you won't. BPD behavior can be very intimidating to some folks as I'm sure you're aware. Which is why it is repeated. It produces a reinforcing effect. But if the person on the receiving end can be tougher or meaner than you, you'll learn real fast that there are other ways to cope. Anyway, as I mentioned I think the wd exacerbates it, so you need to be on top of it before you attempt your taper.



I wish you luck.



by angst, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
I went to the doctor today and he agrees to keep me on xanax 2mg 4 times a day.  With my asthma, and post heart attact, he does not want to change anything.  It was his nurse, who tried without his knowledge to cut me back 2mg per day each week. He said he would call in my medication.  I should not take short cuts, but to speak to him.  I need the fast action for asthma, but I do not know if I will stay on the xanax for years.  Valium bottoms out my mood, but I can take klonopin.  I took it for years with good results.  Thanks for all the advice.

by jafco, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
They like to use Klonopin over Valium because it has some very potent anticonvulsant properties, so does the Tegretol. It's all in the article so I won't go on about it. If you need the rapid action now, so be it. But if and when you do decide to come off, Klonopin is the way to go, especially since you've stated Valium is not an option for you.



Actually there is another take on this using Valium as stated by seamstress. If anyone is interested here is the hyperlink.



http://www.benzodiazepine.org/Taper.html



I guess it all depends on your situation, even the experts seem to have different opinions on this.



Jafco

by angst, Apr 23, 2002 12:00AM
To: Jafco
When I entered my last rehab for having a positive UDS at work.  I am an RN and worked in a busy, poor private hospital.  They took me off the xanax completely and put me on phenobarb for a couple of weeks.  That is when I had the heart attack.  The phenobarb did nothing for me except give me a terrible headache.  I know it is a potent barbituate.  I sister took it for epilepsy for over 30 years.  I was on 360mg/day for 3 days, then 270/day for 3 days, then 180mg etc...  It almost killed me.

So the experts do not always know what is best.  The doctors were from various backgrounds with a history of substance abuse themselves and had become addictionologists.  I will stick with this for now.  I do not know if I'll continue this for another year.  I cannot see that far ahead.  My detox off methadone and any other drug is in my control right now.  I do not dose on methadone at the highest dose, but I am on 90 mg.  I will probably drop to 80mg in the next month.  I was on 80mg until I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and oral surgery right behind each other.  Thanks for all the advise.  Honestly, being dependent on anything bothers me.  What if I wake up one day and it is not there?

by jafco, Apr 24, 2002 12:00AM
To: angst
It's sounds like you have been through alot and I wish you well. Do what you need to do to have the best quality of life you can, even if it involves medication for now. I know that feeling about not having the meds there for you. It's not a good feeling, which is one of the reasons why I quit. I just got tired of spending all my time worrying when I'm going to run out and if I'm going to able to get my prescription refilled early. Or if they were going to cut me off all together. I agree that there are a lot of different opinions on how to manage addiction. The most important thing is that it is safely and compassionately done. So go with what feels right for you.



All the best



Jafco

by Seamstress, Apr 24, 2002 12:00AM
To: angst
I had a friend who did the phenobarb taper. She didn't have any of your problems but she did suffer protracted withdrawl which thankfully, has resloved after 6 months of hell.  I'd never recommend that.  As Jafco points out, if the medication is necessary for you quality of life, then by all means stay on it. There is a big difference between addiction and dependency.  As an addict and abuser, I can tell you that.  I wish I could take it responsibly because I believe it would help me but unfortunately, that's not in the cards for me.

by angst, Apr 24, 2002 12:00AM
I can manange to take the xanax as prescribed.  The doctor would be upset with me if I came back early or started doctor hopping.

I'm lucky to have him, and I do not want to risk losing him.  He knows I am on methadone.  I get 6 take outs and do not abuse them.  The thought of not having my dose for the next day keeps me straight.  Thanks for the support.  Excuse my ignorance, but what is protracted withdrawal?

by skipper, Apr 24, 2002 12:00AM
To: Everyone § angst
angst:

welcome to the forum, always room for just one more addict, come

in!



about the benzo's...ithink your best bet is klonopin, but maybe

your doc has more insight. i've never (yet) been addicted to

benzos, but back in the mid 70's i had me a ripper of a penta-

barb habit. i was working in a medical research unit and had ac-

cess to 100 ml vials of pentabarbitol. i think there was 300 mg./

ml/ (5 grains). i used to wake up with rug burns from my face to

my feet after a good night of shooting that pure **** into my

veins. at the lab it was used for "putting down dogs" (1 ml for

every 2 kilograms)



i was detoxed in a psych ward. they used the Berkly Method, which

involves switching you over to pheno-barb. i had several seisures

and *word salad* (know what that is? if so i feel sorry for you).

they dosed me with 1/4 grain phenos. my early doses filled dixy-

cups! i think it took a total of about 12 weeks to detox me.

there are beter methods in use now. i believe the berkly method

is one of the cruelest ways to go. it got me off that **** though



the worst drug i've ever w/d from were barbs. i've since been an

extensive opiate abuser. opiate w/d is a childs cake walk com-

pared to barb w/d!



i wish you the best of luck getting off the methadone. just keep

telling yourself "if it doesn't kill me (getting off it), it will

make me stronger!



please keep posting and keep an angel on your shoulder!

kip