Question Title: Night time fears in four year old

Forum: The Child Behavioral Health Forum
Topic: Normal Child Development

My four year old, Taylor, has been waking up every night with a fear that something is in his room or bed. These fears have been over monsters, snakes, spiders, etc. I don't know how to help him through this. My husband doesn't sleep well when Taylor crawls into bed with us, so I have been taking him back to his room. I will first show him that these scary things are not in his room/bed and then lie down with him until he is asleep. I feel for the little guy. He has picked up on a lot of big guy things because he has an older brother. I minimize what Taylor sees and I make sure that if a show, book, movie, etc. is appropriate for his brother, but not him, that these are not viewed until he is in bed. I am assuming this fear is normal, but would appreciate some reassurance on that assumption. I am exhausted from being woken up so much, as we also have a one year old. The three certainly keep us busy! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Cyndi

Dear Cyndi,

As you suspect, your son's fears are perfectly normal for his age. Your approach to his fears is sensible - i.e., you are trying to reassure him and comfort him. It is important that, while you try to reassure him, you do not unwittingly lend support to his fears. Some suggest (though please do not take this as 'law')that it is actually not wise to search the room for hidden dangers - this might only reinforce the notion that there might indeed be creatures. Otherwise, why would a person be searching? In any case, it sounds like you're doing fine. Continue to ask your son 'What would help you? What can you do to feel OK?' This solution-oriented approach to the situation helps instill the notion that your son can actually take measures to respond to his concerns/fears. Good luck.

This information is provided for purposes of general medical education. Please consult your physician for diagnostic and treatment options that pertain to your specific situation/condition.

*Keyword: night fears, bedtime fears

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