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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
I feel like im not really living anymore! HELP!
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
I feel like im not really living anymore! HELP!
by Tammy, Mar 31, 2000 12:00AM
Im 28 and i just don't feel like im living. I have 2 sweet girls but im having trouble being close to them anymore,it's like im just kind of here and i know thats not the way it should be my mom says getover it. It just does'nt seem to get better.
right now im at the point where i can't even keep my house clean, Ifeel ashamed to let let people know how we live i hide in the house and not let people in, I cry all the time now and I don't know what to do about it im scarred about how my kids are getting affected. I have teo little girls ages 5 and 19 months.
I have been married for 9 yrs, andmy husband and i can't even make love anymore. I was molested at age 9, and i never felt right with that, I did not tell my parents till i was 13. and never had help. then at age 16 i attempted suicide my sister hid that from my parents also so, i startedrunning away. that happened 3 times then i just seemed to be ok. i got married at 19 and joined the air force and was discharged in 4 weeks, with post traumatic stress disorder. no meds, found out i was pregnant when got home, miscarried 4 mo into i, 3 mo later preg. again carriedmy son 9 mo and he died inutero, i carried him 3 days like that then had to have a c-section. i started drinking and finnaly it got so bad i hallucinated the last night of holding my son. my husband and parents took me to hospital and was told i had nervous breakdown,I was sent home 3 days later with clinical depression on prozac, it did not help and i had no doctor so 2 mo after i got out i did what seemed the smartest thing at the time i got pregnant again. that was my 5 yr old.
Everything seemed fine for a while but since about the time she was 3 i have gone down hill, now my memory is hardly there, i can't get energy to clean i feel so ashamed of my self, my life everything. I need advice i don't want my daughter this way or thinking this is normal i love them and they deserve better.
PLease give me some advice about meds to try ive been on paxil,prozac,and ritalin as a child. but ive felt this way all my life sometimes i see myself dying nightmares about losing my family, im scarred can this be halped after so long????
thank you for reading this.
right now im at the point where i can't even keep my house clean, Ifeel ashamed to let let people know how we live i hide in the house and not let people in, I cry all the time now and I don't know what to do about it im scarred about how my kids are getting affected. I have teo little girls ages 5 and 19 months.
I have been married for 9 yrs, andmy husband and i can't even make love anymore. I was molested at age 9, and i never felt right with that, I did not tell my parents till i was 13. and never had help. then at age 16 i attempted suicide my sister hid that from my parents also so, i startedrunning away. that happened 3 times then i just seemed to be ok. i got married at 19 and joined the air force and was discharged in 4 weeks, with post traumatic stress disorder. no meds, found out i was pregnant when got home, miscarried 4 mo into i, 3 mo later preg. again carriedmy son 9 mo and he died inutero, i carried him 3 days like that then had to have a c-section. i started drinking and finnaly it got so bad i hallucinated the last night of holding my son. my husband and parents took me to hospital and was told i had nervous breakdown,I was sent home 3 days later with clinical depression on prozac, it did not help and i had no doctor so 2 mo after i got out i did what seemed the smartest thing at the time i got pregnant again. that was my 5 yr old.
Everything seemed fine for a while but since about the time she was 3 i have gone down hill, now my memory is hardly there, i can't get energy to clean i feel so ashamed of my self, my life everything. I need advice i don't want my daughter this way or thinking this is normal i love them and they deserve better.
PLease give me some advice about meds to try ive been on paxil,prozac,and ritalin as a child. but ive felt this way all my life sometimes i see myself dying nightmares about losing my family, im scarred can this be halped after so long????
thank you for reading this.
Doctor's Answer
by HFHS MD - RG, Mar 31, 2000 12:00AM
You may be suffering, in addition to major depression, from borderline personality disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relations, mood, self-image, and impulsivity, which may have a large impact on others. People with this disorder may distort relationships with others, by putting every person into either an all-good or an all-bad category. As a result of that "splitting", the "good" person is idealized, and the "bad" person is devalued. Shifts of allegiance from one person or group to another are not uncommon.
Different forms of psychotherapy can be useful in people with Borderline Personality Disorder, to manage crises, as well as developing long term coping skills. There is no singular medical treatment for borderline personality per se, but certain medications may help with symptoms of the illness, or help with conditions that often accompany it (such as depression, impulsivity, or mood lability). Antidepressants and/or mood stabilizers may diminish impulsivity, anxiety, and mood symptoms.
Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relations, mood, self-image, and impulsivity, which may have a large impact on others. People with this disorder may distort relationships with others, by putting every person into either an all-good or an all-bad category. As a result of that "splitting", the "good" person is idealized, and the "bad" person is devalued. Shifts of allegiance from one person or group to another are not uncommon.
Different forms of psychotherapy can be useful in people with Borderline Personality Disorder, to manage crises, as well as developing long term coping skills. There is no singular medical treatment for borderline personality per se, but certain medications may help with symptoms of the illness, or help with conditions that often accompany it (such as depression, impulsivity, or mood lability). Antidepressants and/or mood stabilizers may diminish impulsivity, anxiety, and mood symptoms.
I wish you all the best.