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Mental Health  (Expert Forum)
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I feel like im not really living anymore! HELP!
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.

I feel like im not really living anymore! HELP!

by Tammy, Mar 31, 2000 12:00AM
Im 28 and i just don't feel like im living. I have 2 sweet girls but im having trouble being close to them anymore,it's like im just kind of here and i know thats not the way it should be my mom says getover it.  It just does'nt seem to get better.

right now im at the point where i can't even keep my house clean, Ifeel ashamed to let let people know how we live i hide in the house and not let people in, I cry all the time now and I don't know what to do about it im scarred about how my kids are getting affected. I have teo little girls ages 5 and 19 months.

I have been married for 9 yrs, andmy husband and i can't even make love anymore. I was molested at age 9, and i never felt right with that, I did not tell my parents till i was 13. and never had help. then at age 16 i attempted suicide my sister hid that from my parents also so, i startedrunning away. that happened 3 times then i just seemed to be ok. i got married at 19 and joined the air force and was discharged in 4 weeks, with post traumatic stress disorder. no meds, found out i was pregnant when got home, miscarried 4 mo into i, 3 mo later preg. again carriedmy son 9 mo and he died inutero, i carried him 3 days like that then had to have a c-section. i started drinking and finnaly it got so bad i hallucinated the last night of holding my son. my husband and parents took me to hospital and was told i had nervous breakdown,I was sent home 3 days later with clinical depression on prozac, it did not help and i had no doctor so 2 mo after i got out i did what seemed the smartest thing at the time i got pregnant again. that was my 5 yr old.

Everything seemed fine for a while but since about the time she was 3 i have gone down hill, now my memory is hardly there, i can't get energy to clean i feel so ashamed of my self, my life everything. I need advice i don't want my daughter this way or thinking this is normal i love them and they deserve better.

PLease give me some advice about meds to try ive been on paxil,prozac,and ritalin as a child. but ive felt this way all my life sometimes i see myself dying nightmares about losing my family, im scarred can this be halped after so long????







thank you for reading this.

by HFHS MD - RG, Mar 31, 2000 12:00AM
You may be suffering, in addition to major depression, from borderline personality disorder.



Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relations, mood, self-image, and impulsivity, which may have a large impact on others. People with this disorder may distort relationships with others, by putting every person into either an all-good or an all-bad category. As a result of that "splitting", the "good" person is idealized, and the "bad" person is devalued. Shifts of allegiance from one person or group to another are not uncommon.



Different forms of psychotherapy can be useful in people with Borderline Personality Disorder, to manage crises, as well as developing long term coping skills. There is no singular medical treatment for borderline personality per se, but certain medications may help with symptoms of the illness, or help with conditions that often accompany it (such as depression, impulsivity, or mood lability). Antidepressants and/or mood stabilizers may diminish impulsivity, anxiety, and mood symptoms.







Member Comments (4)

by PamD, Apr 03, 2000 12:00AM
It must be difficult to feel the way you do.  I, too, have suffered severe bouts with depression and concerns about my mental health and its effect on my child.  The only way to begin the recovery is to contact a mental health professional.  I urge you to seek help as soon as possible.  A psychiatrist may be able to prescribe medications that will help, and a counselor will help you understand what's going on and how to cope with it.  You can get better.  I have.  Many others have.  For you and your children's sakes, make that phone call and set an appointment.  If you don't have much money, there are usually community-based organizations that provide reduced-fee or free services.



I wish you all the best.

by beamz, Aug 08, 2007 04:38PM
To: Tammy
Well ill  try to help if you will get better trust me i had just suverd from a caffien over dose and was rushed to the emerg but at the beginninng of the summer i did a high dose of maraijana or how ever its spelt but i feel like im not in life and i feel bad anxiety and it just feels like when you are high like you are almost ina diffrent word all you hae to do to get rid of it is try to just sit down watch t.v and hold your hands on your temple and just close your eyes relax and just rub it litle and think of somehting that gets you happy like your girls then if you dont you have to get busy with somehting you just gotta say ill be fine im not going to die or have somthing bad happe and its not going to change my life then you gotta just get up and do sumthin you used to like clean or try going out with friends and change it all around and i promise over time it wil jsut drifed away and you have to know that you have anxiety attacks and you think to hard if it makes you feel better just pray for the best you are going to be fine dont worry about anything and if you think of this my doctor sayd this .. Most people that have been revived sayd that when they wher gone the saw a light and they felt sooo peaceful and wanted to enter  the light and they just felt th best and now the dont worry about death or anything t all and thats all true.. You can also get your girl into gymnastics and go watch her often to get your mind of it.

by hhummingbird52, Aug 09, 2007 12:07PM
To: Cathy
Hi, i no what your going thru. i took depression pills for yrs, & still fellt nrrvou,shaking, I no longer have any pleasure doing things including ceaning my house. I can be way down &want to be left alone or in a battling mood that comes from nowhere. i feel fat, ugly & dont care. i had a bad relation ship with my X we were married 35 yrs, but threr was physicl ,mental figts.i am with someone now who treats me like a queen never sas anything bad only good to me,but yet i feel the same as before i have evenhit him for no good reason.i take lorzapam,seraquil,depakote,zoloft,trazadone besdes for sugar, bllod pressure,colestol.Ihad alot of troble sleepig at nite now i wake less often but tired,,lazy etc, during the day . i also have an ulcer.i go to anger management clas,& seeone of threr doctors,they say they think i have "disassociared syndrom" Whats this!! Anyon no? Help!!
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