Anxiety, OCD, Depression, insomnia. schitzophrenia? bipolar?
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Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
I began to recognize that I was beginning to no-longer think as I do things, I felt as though I lost all self-consciousness, as though I absolutely lost myself- no sense of judgement,and such. I tried to remember how my mind used to work, and I remembered that I used to have a good think about everything, recall events, and think bout all the good things that I knew of, and at that time... I was no longer doing that, my mind was absolutely blank, and I could never concentrate, I felt as though I couldn't control my mind. everything seemed abysmal, I seemed so damn miserable, and all I wanted to do was regain my sanity...
These days I think I'm feeling better, but I still havin a little trouble trying to find my former-self. Ever since then, my concept of thinking has been absolutely changed.
When I was Sixteen I was happy everyday for no reason. Everynight before I went to bed the thought in my head would scream at me to the point where I'd tell them to shut-up out loud. It didn't work. One time at school after going to the bathroom I was going to flush the toilet, and my mind screamed it-Outloud I said Shut-up...WOW! I felt a little crazy then. This happened for two years. I had downs, but most of this time was elated mood along with irritation-not all good stuff. Then It all came tumbling down. I couldn't sleep, or I slept too much, food was disgusting. My body felt numb, and people annoyed me. I thought everyone was dumb.
This went on for a while 'till my mom took me to the doctor. They quickly called me depressed and prescribed Prozac. Prozac helped to an extent, it made me feel pretty irritated and it was hard to sleep. I also did alot of bad things. But I wasn't AS depressed.
I took Prozac for about six months, then I ran out while on the road selling magazines. I had a break-down and almost jumped out of a moving car because my brain was spinning. I got back on Prozac and then I got pregnant so I stopped.
I did just fine throughout my pregnancy. I breastfed for ten months so I continued without being medicated. Then I started getting Panic attacks for no reason. At first I thought I was having a Heart attack. These happened while diving on the freeway. I was so scared I pulled over where there was no shoulder crying, thinking I was going to die. I had to leave work twice because they would happen and I couldn't think or talk, and I'd twich and shake uncontrollably.
The story goes on.
I started Lithium. But I only took it for three weeks because I was scared of the things that could happen to my body.
I now take Paxil. It's been nine days now. We'll see if that helps me.
Don't be affraid or think that your weak. Less than 1% of the population suffers from Bipolar. It's a fluke of nature. You have done nothing wrong. Your not crying out for attention, it's a medical condition. You don't shy away from harmony, your brain is just incapable of it. Be stong!
that is not my world in a sentence by any means, but why do people pull ideas and quirks and try to develop them into "mental illnesses" or maybe were all just off a bit...or maybe all right on...
there is no center to our mental/spiritual universe because the borders are still yet to be defined...
there is no insanity because there is no sanity for it too be in opposition of...
For a period of time last year i would wake up and not be able to move for about 10 Minutes just open my eyes and look around,, it felt as if i was sinking into mY bed,and it was hard to breatH as I f I WErE being S U F F O C A T E D(suffocation),
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~~~after it stopped i WAs afraid to sleep EVERY night beCause i would eXperience DreAms of being TOurtured ,.. . .
theres So much More ,but THey are ~insignificant` ,to have an effect on my personal life,.. . . but everythinG that I have
been eXPeriencing has caused problems With MY social life..
i dont know if i can ever be the same.. . . . . .
i dont KNow whats wrong with me .. . .