Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Mental Health (Expert Forum)
My son was diagnosed with Crohn's and I am in agony
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
|
My son was diagnosed with Crohn's and I am in agony
by iriss, Jul 21, 2003 12:00AM
My 13 yr. old boy (my baby) was just diagnosed with Crohns Disease a month ago and I am experiencing pain worse than childbirth and kidney stones combined. I am an RN and a little knowledge can kill someone. MY son is actually fairly well and has been with his grandmother the past several weeks. I noticed that he was barely growing and one abnormal test result let to another, led to another and Crohn's is the dx. I kept crying everytime I looked at him, so it's actually good he's away now. I have had suicidal ideations on and off since hearing the bad news, but I have had these suicidal thoughts before and I'm still here to tell about it. I went to a psychiatrist and when I told him of my suicidal thoughts he put me on Lexapro, but I didn't take them because I don't like meds. I am in perfect health and don't take anything. I felt I could handle this and did well on and off. I have to tell you that if my son had died I would have reacted the same way as I'm reacting now. Basically his life is as good as over because it will be so difficult for him to have a normal adolescence and adulthood. I am grieving the loss of his health and I'm in sheer agony. I cannot stop crying some days. Other days I feel perfectly well.
When I was a young nurse (about 20-25 yrs ago) there was an emaciated 18 yr. old boy who was admitted to the hospital. He was about 5'10" and must have weighed 90 lbs. He looked like the photos of Holocaust survivors duing WWII. And his dx was regional enteritis (or Crohn's as it is called now). I can still see the pain in his eyes and I'm sick.
Now please don't tell me my son will do fine. We don't know that. And he's sure to not live a full life because more than likely he'll be stricken with cancer or sepsis or any of the other complications. I'm not sure someone can live with Crohn's for 50 years. In 50 years my son will only be 63! I am in agony here and have thought of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge or swallowing all the Lexapro's and Xanax's they gave me in my garage with the car engine on. Please don't tell me my chld needs me because I cannot bear to sit around and watch him suffer. He might be better off without me crying in front of him all the time.
I would like to know how many people with suicidal ideations eventually kill themselves. What are the statistics? You just don't know the pain that I'm in. My child's life is over and I cannot bear to watch. What should I do? I am not going to any psychiatric emergency center, either.
Thank you
When I was a young nurse (about 20-25 yrs ago) there was an emaciated 18 yr. old boy who was admitted to the hospital. He was about 5'10" and must have weighed 90 lbs. He looked like the photos of Holocaust survivors duing WWII. And his dx was regional enteritis (or Crohn's as it is called now). I can still see the pain in his eyes and I'm sick.
Now please don't tell me my son will do fine. We don't know that. And he's sure to not live a full life because more than likely he'll be stricken with cancer or sepsis or any of the other complications. I'm not sure someone can live with Crohn's for 50 years. In 50 years my son will only be 63! I am in agony here and have thought of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge or swallowing all the Lexapro's and Xanax's they gave me in my garage with the car engine on. Please don't tell me my chld needs me because I cannot bear to sit around and watch him suffer. He might be better off without me crying in front of him all the time.
I would like to know how many people with suicidal ideations eventually kill themselves. What are the statistics? You just don't know the pain that I'm in. My child's life is over and I cannot bear to watch. What should I do? I am not going to any psychiatric emergency center, either.
Thank you
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jul 22, 2003 12:00AM
, Jul 22, 2003 12:00AM
What you can do, and you must do, is get your perspective back. Yes Crohn's is a major disease and requires careful management,but there are a lot of different clincial paths the disease can take from mild to severe, and until you are sure which path this disease is going, you should not jump to the conclusions of disaster, and you should not jump to the image of your memory with the patient who had the severest form, and also, when we didn't know how to treat this disease.
Perspective, perspective, perspective....You are grieving for lost perfection, for an image of what you wanted. You are confronted with a child who needs diligent careful care, that is real, and that is why you have to gather your strength and deal with your new responsibility.
It would be best if you would talk to a psychiatrist to help you get through this..it doesn't have to be an emergency room, but you should get an appointment today.
Perspective, perspective, perspective....You are grieving for lost perfection, for an image of what you wanted. You are confronted with a child who needs diligent careful care, that is real, and that is why you have to gather your strength and deal with your new responsibility.
It would be best if you would talk to a psychiatrist to help you get through this..it doesn't have to be an emergency room, but you should get an appointment today.
Yes, I wanted perfect children and that's why I chose to have amnio's even though I was only 30 and that's why I chose Level 2 ultrasounds and any other test that could ensure that I have a healthy child (those things plus taking meticulous care of myself during pregnancy). I guess there was no test for Crohn's. I would never have had my child had I known that he would get this dreaded illness and be thrust into the world of pain and suffering for virtually his entire life!
The only thing a psychiatrist can do to get me through this is to offer me a lobotomy (and I rather doubt those things are done these days).
But you never answered my original question in my original post. How many people with suicidal thoughts ultimately kill themselves?
Thanks
My son only eats junk food like chicken fingers, french fries and bagels, and candy. I guess he'll need to learn to hold his nose and eat better. He says most foods taste disgusting.
Now about you, my friend...you are not alone and as a mother of 3 myself...the horror of your story coming into play into my life is something I hope I will never know...but I've had my share of hairraiser's already so I know you can "do this" and stay sane and see a happy, albeit severly challenging, life for yourself. Seek counsel by a professional (be sure you "click" and find one with a paractice you respect and can trust)...keep up with forums, chatrooms as needed (sometimes though...my head gets too full from them...but more oft than not ...they help you feel normal and at times lucky (some people have some reallllllly bad stuff...so it's always a good way to gage your own situation against others...additionally...your pain, failures, successes help others and that provides a serious comfort in an of itself. Your grief is N-O-R-M-A-L !!!
Warmest wishes to you, your son, family, and friends.
I know that this is getting away from the point of your origional note slightly, but I just wanted to add that I was diagnosed with Crohns at 15 years of age, and I was completely cured through Steroid treatment. That was 14 years ago and I've not had any reoccurance.
The disease is commonly associated with teenagers and young adults, therefore your GP/specialist should be fairly adept at providing the right treatment regimen. Know and believe me when I say that you've got no reason to think that your child won't make a full recovery.
Best Wishes
Simon
satchie.
my sister's old dance teacher has chron's
she was healthy enough to teach dance, a physically demanding job
and no, she wasnt rail thin like some dancers, she was a healthy size
i cant tell you how your son's life will be but there are LOTS of people out there with the desease living full lives, dont give up hope
I was told by Dr.'s that I had a schetzoid effective disorder about 7 years ago and I would be on meds the rest of my life. They were wrong!!! I have been off of meds for 1 and 1/2 years, thanks to God's grace and living by his will. WWJD works for me!!! The meds helped slow my brain down though so that I could get back to reality and find God.
So you see, there is Hope!!! Pray for God to help you with your son. Try to stop being so selfish.
Your son needs you!
Last year my son had a life altering injury - and the pain from that, for me, was staggering. A lot of different things were happening at the same time for me, I had a water-intake seizure (eeks!) and then a week later nearly drown in the ocean in a very strong current. So I'm not 100% sure where the awful pain and anxiety came from for me, but it was the way you describe. I couldn't look at my son without pain being obvious in my face. I couldn't stop asking him asking him asking him how he was, and fussing and worrying myself ill.
My heart actually hurt - you know how people say "heartache", well my heart actually physically ached so much I'd wake up from the pain