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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
life after paxil?
Answered by
Roger Gould, M.D. - Mental Health, Wellness
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
life after paxil?
by buttacup, Jun 25, 2004 12:00AM
good lord were can i begin i have been depressed since i can remember i would threaten to kill mysrlf as a young teenager i was angry all the time sometimes i wish my parents would have done something sooner. i am now married and have been on paxil for 9 months i have gained 35 pounds i had surgery in december because i had an abnormal pap smear and i still do no insurance comp. will take me till i have a normal pap. it cost 293.00 a month for my paxil.not including the doctors visit. i am so depressed right now, i cry all the time and at my job lets say they are quite insensitive iam going through withdrawls from hell and now started low dosages of prozac because i have no paxil left. i feel angry all the time like nothing makes sense like everyone around me has no idea what im going through the thoughts in my head is nothing like i felt a month ago and its scary to me. i feel sorry for my husband, funny,my manager at work told me he felt sorry for my husband too. i feel like a hypocondriact.my work is getting affected by all this and my manager is punishing me with a crappy schedule. i feel aggitated. i dont have the money to pay for any of this and i feel like any moment i will get in my car and just keep driving. if i tell my mom she will act like i have a cold and it will all go away soon if i tell my husband he feels sorry for me and i hate that.i could punch walls right now or scream at the top of my lungs.one day everythings great the next im driving to work crying and feeling sorry for myself. i feel like people are looking at me and thanking god they are not me,the fact that i have gained 35 pounds and am quite insecure doesnt help the matter i dont know were to begin help me
Doctor's Answer
by Roger Gould, M.D., Jun 29, 2004 12:00AM
, Jun 29, 2004 12:00AM
the help you need is not paxil, it is a good counselor who can help you sort this out, and make sense of what you are feeling, and what you can do about it. Try your community mental health facility, or church counseling, or ask your doctor for a low fee referral to a clinical social worker...its better than Paxil for you...
"i feel sorry for my husband, funny,my manager at work told me he felt sorry for my husband too."
That's horrible. God I hate people.
"i feel like a hypocondriact.my work is getting affected by all this and my manager is punishing me with a crappy schedule. i feel aggitated."
They might fire you if you don't hold it together. Personal life is not supposed to be brought up at work, or only very carefully. They used to screen people for mental illnesses when deciding whether or not to hire people. You are probably lucky to have your job. Be careful.
"i dont have the money to pay for any of this and i feel like any moment i will get in my car and just keep driving."
Yea that is the worst.
"if i tell my mom she will act like i have a cold and it will all go away soon if i tell my husband he feels sorry for me and i hate that.i could punch walls right now or scream at the top of my lungs.one day everythings great the next im driving to work crying and feeling sorry for myself."
Have you tried improving your diet? Certain foods and lack of nutrients can make people very angry and easily upset.
"i feel like people are looking at me and thanking god they are not me,the fact that i have gained 35 pounds and am quite insecure doesnt help the matter i dont know were to begin help me"
No trust me. They are all feeling sorry for themselves too.
Finally my boyfriend talked to his doctor and told him he needed to be on paxil. The doctor wrote him out a Rx for it. My boyfriend has good insurance with his job so he got the meds written for him but I would be the one taking them. it may have been wrong but I couldn't be without the pills. All this time I wasn't seeing my doctor or a therapist to be monitored or anything.
Well, about 2 months ago and started to feel the withdrawal symptoms just like I had stopped taking it. The zaps in my head, freaking out, panic attacks, etc. I figured that my body must have adjusted to the 30mg a day so I started taking two 30mg pills a day. Then I was still feeling sick and all screwed up so I increased again to three 30mg pills a day. I increased from 30 to 90mg a day on my own without asking my doctor. Well, because I was doing that I ran out of the 30 day supply too fast and the insurance wouldn't cover a refill too soon so basically I was screwed. I went for 2 days without it and I was starting to get so sick. All of the regular paxil withdrawal symptoms but also I was having such bad panic attacks that I was starting to hurt myself. I was thinking crazy thoughts. Thinking of ways to try and kill myself and I was cutting myself. It is really messed up. I have never in my life been that way. I called a crisis number in my town and they had me go to the emergency room because I didn't feel safe by myself. The ER doctor just gave me another script for the meds and sent me on my way. I honestly didn't want to leave. I cried and said someone has to help me cause I am afraid to be alone. afraid that the next day would be worse and I'd really try something bad.
Anyway, it has been 2 weeks since that hospital episode and I got Temporary medicaid from the state to pay for my meds. So, I am taking my pills again and I have been trying not to take 90mg a day. I have been doing 60mg a day but I still am getting the zaps in my head. I still want to hurt myself. It's weird but cutting myselgf actually feels good....like a release. It scares me so much that I am getting so crazy. The people in crisis want me to get in for an appointment as soon as I can and I want to so bad, but I can't afford it and I don't have insurance. I feel like I am losing my mind. Panic attacks still. I am afraid to go out anywhere, I am afraid of everything. My brother committed suicide in Febuary and ever since then I just can't get myself feeling right anymore. I don't have a job anymore because of me being scared all the time. I was having panic attacks at work and I'd have to leave or I would be so depressed and afraid to go out that I'd call in. I feel like my life is SOOO much worse now then before I started taking paxil. I am afraid to stop it cause I don't want to have those suicidal thoughts again, I don't want to be physically sick and just plain out of my mind. I wish that I never started taking it. I don't want to be on any replacement meds. I don't want anymore pills going into my body. I want to get to the therapists and just dump all my feelings out. I feel like that is what I really need.
I have a big family and it's like no one believes me when I tell them what I am going through. They think I am just lazy and don't want to work. I told them that I am so afraid of what I could do to myself. But I didn't tell them that I was cutting myself. They would really think I am nuts.
How is someone supposed to wean off the paxil and get the right help if they have no insurance and no money????
I feel like I am trapped. Soon I will be out of the meds I have now and then I will withdraw again and start losing my mind again. It scares me so much. So what do I do??? Doctors won't see you if you don't have money or insurance. I feel so helpless. Anyone have advice???
I wanted to post a main thread on here but I see that I'd have to pay 5 dollars to do that, which I can't afford to do right now....so I am posting this way.
Thanks
Diana