1. If you have a uterus and functioning ovaries and a penis finds its way inside of you or semen finds its way near your vagina, you can get pregnant. Even if there is no obvious orgasm, it is still possible.

2. No, we cannot tell you if you are actually pregnant. Giving us the dates of sexual intercourse, last period, position, the consistency of your CM, the number of people you have slept with, the time of day, or anything else will not change that fact. Test when you miss your period. Testing before then is likely a waste of money. If you are TTC, treat yourself as though you are already pregnant. If you are unsure when your period is due, take a test 2 weeks after your last unprotected sexual encounter.

3. No, we cannot tell you who the baby's father is. Get a paternity test. If you have to ask, get a test. If there is any doubt...get a test.

4. No crazy off the wall wives tales will tell you the gender of your baby. In the absence of an amniocentesis, CVS, or a skilled sonographer with good equipment and a cooperative baby, there is no way to know other than delivery. Heart rate will not tell you, belly shape, whether your nose is bigger, feet are smaller, or what you crave. And please do not do the drano test, it is dangerous and does not work.

5. I am sorry, I know it is hard, but we cannot tell you if your partner is having an affair. If you have doubts, maybe now is a good time to reconsider your current situation and evaluate your level of trust in your partner. If you have a nagging feeling or reason to doubt, that may be enough to give you your answer as to the direction of this current relationship.

6. If you are considering any procedure that is designed to destroy your uterine lining, now would be the time to decide if you want more children...not after it has been done. And if you go through with it, consider a permanent form of birth control such as a tubal ligation. While it is possible, carrying a successful pregnancy after uterine ablation is not common and certainly not recommended.

7. Tubal ligations and vasectomies are considered permanent and should be treated as such. Yes, there is a failure rate, but generally they are 99.9% effective and should never be considered a temporary fix. If your partner has had a vasectomy, continue to have protected sex until he has achieved 20 orgasms AND has had his sperm analysis done showing no sperm present.

8. Have the important conversations before you get married and start having children. How many children you want, if someone will stay at home, who will work outside the home, where you want to live, maybe even possible names so that way these decisions are not made when emotions are raw and feelings get hurt more easily.

9. Please be considerate of your future child when naming them. Funny and trendy names will burden that poor child their entire life. Odd spellings or pronunciations are no better. Make sure to consider all forms of the name and initials.

10. Understand that this forum is full of people with varying belief systems, experiences, and opinions. Do not post here if you are seeking validation on a subject you know is highly controversial unless you expect to receive some strong responses. it is unlikely you will receive the kind of responses you are hoping for anyway. People on the Internet can and often are brutally honest. Being a medical support forum does not make this any less true.

We are one of the largest community forums on Med Help. Many of us have been here a long, long time and have become good friends with varying experiences and contributions to be made. We love meeting new people and would love to welcome you to this little dysfunctional corner of the world. We do not always agree, but we all coexist as best as we can and I have seen some terrific advice given here that has changed the lives of many members.

I certainly hope those that take life too seriously can see the humor intended here and let it be.