One thing that really irks me is the ignorance surrounding animal rights.  I may be a vegetarian, but I'm not an activist.  I have other reasons.  But what I'm trying to stress is abandoned animals that live one to two years outside or get run over or have their litter sold.  Yes, this happens.  I picked up a very sweet kitty who was abandoned by some stupid college students (the majority of the people who abandoned the animals in my town) and she hasn't been fixed.  How do I know this?  She has been visiting my friend's apartment, meowing.  She had kittens and some morons took them and SOLD THEM, leaving her behind all alone.  I already have two cats and a dog.  I <3 this kitty already but I don't think I can keep her.  I may be leaving for Hong Kong.  I want to, but if I had to keep an animal, I would keep Echo because she is my baby.  However she's super territorial.  Right now the kitty is with me in my room since it's the only room that has a door.  Echo is Siamese and she's freaking out.  ;;sigh.  Today was okay.  Very, very, VERY windy.  I saw Kristen.  I made a friend.  I found typewriter tape and I found a sweetheart of a kitty.  However when I was driving to see Kristen, there was a Husky RUNNING UP THE INTERSTATE.  I actually felt ill.  It was too late for me to stop, so I hope he/she was rescued.  Fingers crossed.

I'm having a lot of issues.  Money, love, stress ... it goes on and on.  I don't know where to begin.  I am never on this website because I always talk to J.  I love her to death but I wish I had someone else to talk to.  I talk to her way too much - I am way too dependent on her and I feel like a bad friend, but I don't know what I'd do without her.  Ah, the power of the cell phone.  I am a pretty non-materialistic person but I don't know what I'd do without the phone.  There are so many times she's pulled me out of a funk that waiting for a letter via mail just wouldn't have arrived in time.

Nico is gone as of now.  What am I doing?  Cleaning and packing of course.  I am going to post stuff along King Street and then when I have time, I'm going to post elsewhere.  I don't think anyone is going to return her - she's too nice of a dog.  Who wouldn't want to keep her for free?  :(  I feel like a bad owner.  I turn around and she's gone.  I seriously think someone took her.  She's extremely friendly and everyone loves her.  Honestly, I think I know who took her but I'm not going to pursue it.  There was this man who was way too interested in her and when I was calling her name out, he peeled out of the parking lot when he saw me.  I don't know.  I'm not trying to point the finger, but I just don't know where she is.  She is chunky and can't go for more than five minutes.  She knows how to get to R and D's and after that, she just waits.  When she catches her breath after like, two hours, she walks back to my apartment and that's it - her five minutes is up, she waits.  But she's not waiting at either place.  I'm waiting.  R and D are waiting.  I don't know what to do.

A-hole is home.  Joyous.  She's always a good time.  Every time something bad happens, it just piles on - CW, yeast infection, flea bites (from Nico), back pain, insomnia, break outs because of CW, A-hole, Nico missing, stress of airlines, etc.  It goes on and on.

I just got my PC back, so hopefully everything will be running smoothly.  :/  Something else is going to go wrong.  I know it will.  This is realism.  Peace out.  I'm too depressed.

People actually read all of my journals.  I appreciate the time they take out, whether it's intentional or not.  Truly; thank you.  

PS: I posted new photos if you're interested.  I got bored.

Do you remember the little boy on the tricycle and when asked, "What are you waiting for?" he said, "I don't know, something amazing!!!"  Don't quote me, but that's how it feels like my life is.  What did I do today?  This is what I wrote in my "tracking" note book because I have been getting annoyed with trying to maintain everything and check off which medications I took, why I take them, etc.  So I simplified it and I felt accomplished because instead of not having anything crossed, checked, or marked according to whatever site conveniently provided these charts, I had found satisfaction in even my menial tasks.  Those minuscule moments are what help me keep going.  I may be mindless 99% of the time, but I suppose that's good enough for now.  As for today, I didn't do anything.  I went to re-piece my new vacuum, but I noticed on my way into the kitchen, there were strange black lumps on the floor.  I thought it was dog hair until I picked it up and realized it was kind of like a synthetic Brillo.  What does this mean, you wonder?  ED.  

She deters the good things that I manage to incorporate into my life with great struggle and yet I keep her around.  I've always been the type of person who can't say no to anything, even if it means I get the short end of the stick.  It's happened so many times, you'd think I would know better.  But I don't.  Or I do but I just let it slide.  I've become institutionalized.  I believe strength comes from every second your mind takes the initiative and you go on autopilot unwillingly.  Sometimes I recognize this in myself, but most of the time I deny it.  I feel weak and confused.  And right now I feel lonely.  It feels like the days I need someone, they're avoiding me.  Or the days I want to be left alone, I'm not.  Time passes too slowly when you want it to go faster, etc.  

Tomorrow I hope I'll find the energy to find the filter.  If not, what I was dreading *having to return it* then back to Wal-Mart it goes.  It's not a really big deal, but it's just such a pain.  It was a pain carrying it out to my car, up the stairs into my apartment, and putting it together.  Because no easy setup is ever easy enough for me.  For some reason, I always get the piece of **** out of the decent pile.  Now I'm going to have to repackage it, find the receipt, drive it back, drag it back inside, hopefully find another one available, wait in line, blah, blah, blah.  ;;sigh.

I'm lonely.  

Stupid cat.