Im Summer :) and I like to identify myself as a 3rd-generation Swedish-american mixed with a bit of Cherokee heritage, and as a talented artist. But medically, I would identify myself by saying I have and Autoimmune/Neurological rare sleep disorder called Narcoleps
[More]y and it is a big part of my life... well, it is my life basically. But I like to say it does not control my actions and it doesn't stop me from having fun.
I've had Narcolepsy since I was 6 or 7 years of age and did not know i was narcoleptic until the great age of 17. It took up until this past December of 2012 to get the right types of medications working and boy do I take a lot. I am now 18. Over a decade of suffering and feeling like an outcast and an idiot, a freak, a psychotic person (or what have you), can really put a huge toll on a person. Especially this person. Narcolepsy, lucky for me (sarcasm), includes extreme Major Depressive Disorder, ADHD, and extreme Anxiety Disorder. My past from a young girl until the very day and moment I wrote this has been traumatic and horrifying for someone with my sort of spirit. A kind, caring, relatable soul, but also an odd mixture with a cold heart, a face of stone with a smile that I can avoid from ever showing on my face, and the mind and soul of a warrior. That is the only reason I've made it through the deepest and darkest of times in my life. The only reason. I continually struggle with trying to love myself for who I am and what I look like, as much as people would love to say I am self-centered, conceited and extremely self-confident, they could not be more wrong and deceived from my acting.
If I've learned anything, I know exactly how to put on whatever face people want to see and say the things that they want to hear me say. Nobody is none the wiser, if anything, stupider, because most people don't think I have any problems until they get to know me. My situation, being as complicated as I can get into, is not one I ever would have chosen. But, there is nothing I can regret. Sure there are people I'd love to hear about in the newspaper winding up dead, but the world's energy will take care of itself.
To add to my struggle, I have extreme muscle aches and pains, cluster headaches, restless leg syndrome and extreme body issue problems with body image and self respect.
But on a brighter note, I suppose, I love artwork, I love making new friends all the time and networking, I love modeling, doing photography & films, sculpture, sketching, and pottery. I love created anything from nothing. It's what I do best. So get to know me! Add me. Talk to me. Ask me for advice. Anything. I'd love to help someone else out there in the world with problems I've most likely faced. :) I may be young, but I'm the oldest soul will ever have met.
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