missyaftc's Profile
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Mood:
missyaftc
confused
About Me: Female, 45, Redmond - OR, member since Jun 2009
Im me. It took years to except me for who iam.
BP, adhd, dyslexic a lil' sprinkle of everything. ... [More]
Im very quiet till I feel I need to stress my opinion. Especially if im about to be used, abused. The monster comes out in me. I get quiet tillmy animosity can turn the room were all in.
No one knows anyone till they spend time with someone
Soon as anyone gets to know me, they never talk to me again. Im a hand full. Or a threat.
"Please do not judge me, just love me for who iam"
Last few months i've been so depressed i'm like im the walking dead. Urgggggg.
I have just discovered that facial exspressions make to others flags everyone. Im paranoid. ect ect....Myself 44 imagin im just
working on how my face looks to others. I thought i could get away in life by minding my own buisness or smiling. Do you know if I smile most people look at me as if im "weird" Iam weird so what the heck. "just except me for who iam" People tend to judge me when they first meet me. Then the weirdness comes pout, the animosity creeps out of my sleave.
I only know my difficulties, till i have to share my opinions.... I jump from subject to subject...... this tends to war people out. I I could talk slowly or not to fast........ I might feel at ease in life. This is a daily hurttle for me.
Im starting to realize
the world doesnt revolve around me.
As a child that staement was even thrown into my face.
If I get overwhelmed: I may not know what im saying,i cant keep on task very often what i want to get out of my mouth.
I can pass out easily if i get into a intense situation where people are doing me bad.
I hate the bright sun, and bright lights. I where my sun glasses majority of the time
everywhere. I hate it when people say its not sunny, even in shade i love my glasses. Give me a box i'd crawl in and never want to crawl out. but im a mom, have to take care of responsabilities.
I usually take things out of proporstion. as im told
How to recover from a mood ? Bigggg sigh
Let me have my time, let me ly down or..... thats just what the desease is.....
you just never know.
Ask if I need anything, just dont push the fact "whats wrong" words.
Sorry, but time to be gental with me.
My brain is whats wrong. The cells are a bit fry'd
I love everyone but no one can read my "Poker Face" So me!!!
Ha, I couldn't ever even never pickup rules to play poker, but love the song thats outs (saying "My poker face, my poker face.)....
Its been a tough 44 years althoe I have made it this far! Survived as a
doctor has put it.
About 20 years ago I put my life into gods hands.Being financially ruined, I struggle god knows i do. I made it back, and now im back almost to broke again for being overly generious to others. Well Im there again broke.
Im week, soooo week, then trying to recover I find the strength. I look at it is gods way to make me stop, and relax.............. Not funny!!!!! Thats my reality.
Im 1/2 way thru life struggling to stay wife, mom to 5. I just want everyone to except me for me. N' that doesnt seem to ever work.~
Im mother of 3, step mother to two more.
6, 15,18,18,&21.
The 2 oldest for my moods which have turned into them deserting me. (kids)
Im married to a wonderful man of 4 years. Hes trying his hardest to be patient with me. (((extreamly hard to except for him)))
Im a wedding photographer, started this buisness a year ago. Have studied photography and art for years and years, very artistic, love children. (they are so inocent and not judgmental.)..My website took me a year to build, im slow but i love it. Im very proud of myself for it. But lately a few weeks I have lost intrest in my buisness. I havent had the support either. Husband is running, ran from his not so right wife.
I have always been a quiet person till I have two drinks,be a beer or wine. Not much. My husband says it gets me up.
I have been saying no to drinking since ive read this is way bad for me!
* If you notice. I cant organize my thoughts. My thoughts are scrambled.
Ha, thats me
my husband as of 6/21 has been gone four days 3 nights. aboandoned once again in life. I just wanted to be loved for who iam.
Missy
[Less]
BP, adhd, dyslexic a lil' sprinkle of everything. ... [More]
Im very quiet till I feel I need to stress my opinion. Especially if im about to be used, abused. The monster comes out in me. I get quiet tillmy animosity can turn the room were all in.
No one knows anyone till they spend time with someone
Soon as anyone gets to know me, they never talk to me again. Im a hand full. Or a threat.
"Please do not judge me, just love me for who iam"
Last few months i've been so depressed i'm like im the walking dead. Urgggggg.
I have just discovered that facial exspressions make to others flags everyone. Im paranoid. ect ect....Myself 44 imagin im just
working on how my face looks to others. I thought i could get away in life by minding my own buisness or smiling. Do you know if I smile most people look at me as if im "weird" Iam weird so what the heck. "just except me for who iam" People tend to judge me when they first meet me. Then the weirdness comes pout, the animosity creeps out of my sleave.
I only know my difficulties, till i have to share my opinions.... I jump from subject to subject...... this tends to war people out. I I could talk slowly or not to fast........ I might feel at ease in life. This is a daily hurttle for me.
Im starting to realize
the world doesnt revolve around me.
As a child that staement was even thrown into my face.
If I get overwhelmed: I may not know what im saying,i cant keep on task very often what i want to get out of my mouth.
I can pass out easily if i get into a intense situation where people are doing me bad.
I hate the bright sun, and bright lights. I where my sun glasses majority of the time
everywhere. I hate it when people say its not sunny, even in shade i love my glasses. Give me a box i'd crawl in and never want to crawl out. but im a mom, have to take care of responsabilities.
I usually take things out of proporstion. as im told
How to recover from a mood ? Bigggg sigh
Let me have my time, let me ly down or..... thats just what the desease is.....
you just never know.
Ask if I need anything, just dont push the fact "whats wrong" words.
Sorry, but time to be gental with me.
My brain is whats wrong. The cells are a bit fry'd
I love everyone but no one can read my "Poker Face" So me!!!
Ha, I couldn't ever even never pickup rules to play poker, but love the song thats outs (saying "My poker face, my poker face.)....
Its been a tough 44 years althoe I have made it this far! Survived as a
doctor has put it.
About 20 years ago I put my life into gods hands.Being financially ruined, I struggle god knows i do. I made it back, and now im back almost to broke again for being overly generious to others. Well Im there again broke.
Im week, soooo week, then trying to recover I find the strength. I look at it is gods way to make me stop, and relax.............. Not funny!!!!! Thats my reality.
Im 1/2 way thru life struggling to stay wife, mom to 5. I just want everyone to except me for me. N' that doesnt seem to ever work.~
Im mother of 3, step mother to two more.
6, 15,18,18,&21.
The 2 oldest for my moods which have turned into them deserting me. (kids)
Im married to a wonderful man of 4 years. Hes trying his hardest to be patient with me. (((extreamly hard to except for him)))
Im a wedding photographer, started this buisness a year ago. Have studied photography and art for years and years, very artistic, love children. (they are so inocent and not judgmental.)..My website took me a year to build, im slow but i love it. Im very proud of myself for it. But lately a few weeks I have lost intrest in my buisness. I havent had the support either. Husband is running, ran from his not so right wife.
I have always been a quiet person till I have two drinks,be a beer or wine. Not much. My husband says it gets me up.
I have been saying no to drinking since ive read this is way bad for me!
* If you notice. I cant organize my thoughts. My thoughts are scrambled.
Ha, thats me
my husband as of 6/21 has been gone four days 3 nights. aboandoned once again in life. I just wanted to be loved for who iam.
Missy
[Less]
Aug 06, 2009 01:03PM in the
Bipolar Disorder Community
Aug 06, 2009 12:47PM in the
Anger Management Community
Aug 06, 2009 12:21PM in the
Anger Management Community
n enthusiasm.
cant stop racing thoughts of a same thought
Looking forward to a better year.
If I can keep my head on straight everyone just might be fine.
Im trying my hardest to keep my mouth shut.
Im feeling good, think my m...
Im tired. The days are flying by. Better then them dragging i guess.
I need to get caught up on my journal.....
bugy is a good think
Mood Tracker Stats
Condition:
Bipolar I
Happy Days:
2
Unhappy Days:
2
| Average Mood | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| 7d | 30d | 90d | |
| Mood | Okay | ||
Weight Tracker Stats
Start weight:
157.0 lb
Goal weight:
125.0 lb
% Time Complete:
Goal tracking ended.
Days left:
Goal tracking ended.
Mood Tracker Stats
Condition:
Bipolar I
Happy Days:
2
Unhappy Days:
2
| Average Mood | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| 7d | 30d | 90d | |
| Mood | Okay | ||
Oct 08
Haven't seen you for a while...just want to say hi and hope you got over that angry phase.
Please take care.
Kit
Aug 15
Thank you! I feel better knowing that this is something I can do not only to help myself, but my daughter too. I appreciate your support!
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