Life will go on - and while it may get worse for a while - it will get much better in the long run!
I've had to look at it like fighting an illness - sometimes the treatment is horrible, those that go through Chemo - only do it to save their lives. This is the same thing - we are fighting for our lives. And the cure is unpleasant - but worth the fight.
Keep posting.
don't beat yourself up - if it were easy, non of us would be here. I have woken up many a morning determined to stop this evil pill, only to go to bed hating myself because I couldn't. Stopping or tappering takes a plan - one that is reasonable for your life style - when I started to taper - I stopped taking a bunch at once - I would take one, wait an hour take another etc. then I would push to 2 hours etc until I was able to skip the middle dose etc. It is an addiction - strength doesn't work here, a plan, support - sharing - that's what will get you through!