I guess I have always been sensative and somewhat emotional. And I have had anxiety throughout my life. But my anxiety always made sense, and I was fine when I got out of the situation that made me anxious. But then in my twenties I had a couple anxiety episodes where I
[More] didn't feel alright! Both physically and mentally. But I recovered from those episodes and they only lasted 3 moths each. And then, when I was 26 I actually traveled throughout the world on a Semester at Sea, and it was great, but when I came home I became very concerned about myself and culture/family. This is because I became infatuated with a chinese girl from the ship but felt I wasn't good enough for her or her culture. So I have been dealing with serious shame and doubt for 3 years now. Its a long and complicated story, but I wrote "my life story" in my journal entry on here like a year ago. So, it's been very challenging. But I now believe that all of this concerning is meaningful, and I have come to believe that life is fair. I am still going through a hard time and still get very worried at times, but I feel ok and am optimistic because i believe that everything is alright! I feel like I have just been needing to learn a lot of lessons in life, and am a better person because of it. And, right now I am just trying to be a good person and realize that I can embrace all of my suffering and lonliness, because I believe that suffering makes us beautiful. And it is interesting because all of my suffering I feel has made me more humble and able to love. And it makes sense because we only need love when we are hurt. So i feel like everything is alright and I am just hoping I guess to meet a young woman who is as hurt as me. Anyway, i am kind of alone still and love to talk with nice people on here and help each other and all. I know I really am looking for in-person affection, but friends on here are also so amazing so it's really nice to talk with people on here :) I am understanding so you can be honest with me :) Send me a message if you want
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