About Me: Male, 36, Bourton-On-The-Water, United Kingdom, member since Feb 2010
I wasted many years of my life addicted to rx/prescription synthetic opiates and benzodiazepines given after surgeries (as a "muscle relaxant") that had long healed up.(I just kept taking tablets)
[More] I've in last 2 years got myself off everything and I also do not drink alcohol.
I'm at last proud of myself and have got a future.
Update - Currently,after a recent berevement I'm aware this is THE CRITICAL TIME to be tracking my moods and keeping away from ANY offers of Benzodiazepines because of the insomnia/stress associated with severe emotional upset.
No matter how hard this is, I really must not go back to these tablets,and although I've asked my Doctor to NEVER give me these medications even if I BEG him - I have to resist the temptation obtain them via a Private Dr or one in another district.
If I were to start these tablets again,I know I would ruin the good work I've done and I actually need to write this here to remind myself of this at the moment.
Severe loss is definatley a trigger for me to start thinking "would it harm me to just take a sedative short term perhaps one week" and the long term answer is YES IT WOULD!
So I'm fighting a craving for something i'm actually not addicted to anymore- i'm having to come to terms that none of us actually know how to deal with death of a loved one - and no pill is going to educate me how to.
I think my real issue here is I like to control my emotional state,and if feel I can't I actually feel more anxious because I can't - not really going anywhere with that current thinking!!
Will update each day.
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