You deserve a big bear hug! I am not male (as requested in your post), but I know how you feel- I feel the same way. I really hope you feel better.
A pm is a private message and you can click on the inbox up in your right hand corner. I just typed a long message to you but it got deleted. You can find my story in the infidelity community.
I would love to share my story with you if you would like. You can pm me or you can join our infidelity group. Just go to my profile and click on my communities and you will see it.