About Me: Female, 37, Bellefonte, PA, member since Apr 2010
I am a 34 year old female who has struggled with depression and anxiety/constant worry as long as I can remember. I have been on almost every antidepressant there is, with little help from any of them. I am a single mom of a beautiful two-year old boy.I have a Bachelor
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[More] of Science Degree in Early Childhood Education and would like to obtain my Masters Degree in the near future. I appear happy on the outside when I am dying on the inside. Every day is a struggle. Regrets, my ex-fiance (my son's father), insecurities, social phobia, and worrying about anything and everything is robbing me of a normal life. Don't go anywhere but to work and I feel like a blank slate. Like I don't know who I am. I joined this site because I want to change. Real change. I recently started 10mg of Prozac and 20mg of buspar daily, neither of which I have tried before. I am praying that this works. For me, but especially for my son, who means everything to me. If it weren't for him, I often wonder if I would even be here. He is my reason for living and he deserves better than a mother who paces around in her housecoat full of anxiety and crying all the time. I want so badly to be happy. To wake up and laugh, go for walks, meet someone to spend my life with...but I am stuck. I am in a hole looking out at the rest of the world. I am scared to crawl out and feel like I don't deserve to be happy. I WANT TO LIVE!!! And I'm not. :(
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