About Me: Female, 40, warwick, RI, member since Sep 2010
I have issues with myself since I was little. I dated a 19year old when I was 14 cuz he kept pursuing me. Then the obsession set in and would not let me leave the relationship. He would threaten to kill me and my family and at a young age I believed him. He told me I w
[More]as stupid and Fat, Ugly for 5yrs. I tried to leave a few times he would threaten that he would kill my baby niece or burn my house down and even once tried to run me over with his car. I was so depressed I thought to kill myself. I woke and thought why end my life? maybe he wont really kill me. FIGHT!! so I broke up with him and thats when he tried to run me over. He would harass me then no one knew where he was one night, cuz he was in a mental institute. He went to the store bought sleeping pills and other things and was going to kill me and then himself so he went to his therapist and told him what he was about to do n he ended up in a mental institute. I visited him once cuz him being a lost soul I felt bad and he wanted to kill me right there I was so scared I left and never heard from him again even though we live only 4blocks from eachother. Ever since then I've dated and broke up with men. I could not figure out why relationships wont work for me. I think I date men cuz Im lonely and depressed and when one or two things go wrong in the relationship I bail on it and start a new one. Ive been in so many relationship I cant count. I say its their fault cuz they will lie to me or do something that is not acceptable to me but really is it because I am afraid?? Of what?? I dont understand. But when Im alone I call an ex just to hang out and make myself feel good, sexy, irresistible. I need some serious help. Ive become someone I cant stand.
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