Regarding your taper, i've read that the slower the better. I do understand tho your desire to not become addicted to the sub. I personally would not worry about that for the first months. I would want a huge gap between tram and me and all the triggers..I know I said this already, sorry! All the thought habits...the only thing that will get rid of them is time. If I'm craving because I'm tapering, I defeating myself. So my approach would be to just sit at one dose if they allow that for awhile, then start a very slow taper....I could do a taper with the tram this way, but as you said, you take just one less tram and you feel it big time.
So If I do sub, where do I go for it? The doctors in my town all know each other, and they all know my husband thru church and rotary etc...and he is a successful business man downtown. That eliminates all the easy routes to a prescription. And let's say I did get a script for sub. My prescription and health insurance is thru my work. And I work in the pharmacy so I know that all of my coworkers including the pharmacists can easily look up my medication history. I certainly cannot get sub at my own pharmacy...I would be fired. The reality of it is, I can't get it at all thru my own insurance without risking my job. So I would need to go to another town near here, and I would have to pay cash. Sub is expensive! So is tram tho...How much are you paying for it?
Its the logistics of it I can't figure out. If I'm going to go to sub, it has to be incognito. As long as I am in control, the truth about tram will not come out. I have a 18 yr old girl, my middle child, who is very vulnerable...a follower. She is also an addictive personality. But I don't think she knows it yet. I would never want to be inadvertently responsible for her addictions if she ever falls down that path. Her thinking would go like this....."it must not be that big of a deal if even mom did it"...Or...."mom does it why can't I?" I think if I told the truth she would use it as her reason to do the same thing. She may very well end up doing it without my influence. But I'm not giving her a leg up.
And as always, it fascinates me that no one has called me on this in the 7 years I've dealt with it. I've even gone to my family doc high on tram for appts for me or the kids, stood and talked to him face to face, and he never knew. I think for years I thought I could taper the tram at some point if I wanted to. I know better now...Georgie
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