I once had a dream that I was actually living a life like an ordinary person...then I woke up and realized that it was only a dream or a vague memory of how things used to be.
People may look at me and think I am quote/unquote NORMAL. Not so and in fact it couldn't be further from the truth. A normal person does not go through life acting as though they are just like everybody else. The key word being "acting". If the truth be told...I don't really believe I know what normal is.
My life is full of demons, monsters and scary health problems both physically and mentally. If I think back to all the stages of my life...not one of them could ever be considered "normal". But, I'm a fighter. I've always been that way. Good thing too because If I weren't...I wouldn't be here today.
I live my life to extremes. For example: I am either extremely sad or extremely not sad. I say it that way because I don't believe I have ever been happy. In fact, the only thing I know about happy or happiness is how to spell them. Most of the time I feel like an alien on this earth. Like there must be another planet that is populated with people like me. I know this is all irrational thinking, but that's how I roll. Always in a state of irrationality.
I have stopped hoping life will get better for me...it never does. There are no lights at the end of my tunnel, no hopes, no dreams and no faith. That proverbial ship has never come in for me...I'm tired of looking for it anyway. I hardly ever feel the sunshine on my face. I would have to go outside my house to feel that sensation. So, here I sit...a prisoner in my own home and in my mind. But, what if............
Good Morning Mary.
I wanted you to know that the only reason I had asked if you use Verizon Wireless is because there is so much to tell you about, it would have been easier to speak to one another .
I hope the past few days have been well for you, Me not so good you can read about it in my Journal.
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