Welcome to Medhelp's Abuse forum. You chose the right forum honey, this is abuse, it's sexual abuse and it needs to stop. It can interfere in your relationships with men far into the future. I just know you can straighten this out. This is NOT your fault. You are innocent of any wrong doing, but, you must be strong enough to put an end to it. You have made a good start, posting here. You are not alone dear. I promise you , that you will find help with this.
Liz