I love the outdoors, camping, fishing, and hunting with my girls.
[More]as addicated to Vicoden for about 4 years. No one knew of my addiction except a few of my pill popping friends. I hid my addiction from wife all that time. Finally my life was slowy getting worse and I was losing interest in everything I loved to do.
So one day I had the balls to tell my wife! I was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I was embarressed and felt like my castle was falling apart. My wife took it very good and was very supportive in my effort to stay clean. She has her degree in Human Resources and she has seen how people become addicted. Suprisenly to me there were alot more people addicted to them than I have ever thought a few of them were Sheriffs Deputies.
Anyways my quest started by also telling my docter I had enough. He had this relieved look on his face and shook my hand like he was my dad or something. He knows I have a promising carreer in my community and knows what I do for my community. So he was relieved to see I wanted to quit. He was the one that wrote my first scrip from a nasty 16 foot fall from a tree that led to surgery to remove my C1 vertabrae. I kept him believing I still had stiffness in my neck after surgery. That was a bunch of bull. I should have stopped 6 months taking them after my surgery. It was too late by then. Mann did they make me feel great. I had energy and talked to strangers a mile a minute. I got a huge promo at work about 2 years after my surgery. Promo=Stress... Thats when it got out of hand. I thought I needed the pills to keep up with the new job and all the new responsibilities. I had alot to learn with my promo. As a few years passed I started to get comfortable in my new job and confident.
I started to get irratable as time went by and was sick of carrying pills in my pockets 10 to 12 a day in the end. I remmember marking my calender to see how many days could go before my next script. For some damn reason I would cut my self short a few days. I would feel horrible for them 2 or 3 days. I was very unproductive at work. I seemed to hide from everyone than lead them like I was supposed to. But when I would get my script filled I was a happy man! As soon as I pulled thru the drive thru window at Walgreens I was ripping my bag open and would pop 2 big boys right away.
Then there I was again 15 days later empty handed and begging my pill popping friend for some pills. I started to think how pathetic I must look when I was trying to trade pills when my scrip would get filled.
I finally had enough! I wanted my old life back. The doc gave me a sick slip for work. I had a really bad stomach flu for 7 days. Atleast thats what my employer thought. All I heard was when I went back was "You must have that nasty flu thats going around" Just shook my head and said, yep.
What helped me the most was admitting to my parnter in life what the hell was up with me. I will never let her and my two girls down again! There is no turning back now..
My castle is starting to look good again and life is looking alot better for me. Life just seems so crisp now. I see things alot clearer and my concentration is back.
Least but not last. I am so grateful to this MedHelp site and all the encouragement I have recieved. I always hope I can inspire someone else like some of you had enspired me. For that my goal is to never leave this site as some people do when they get clean. I have learned not to get caught up in all the drama that sometimes occurs. I myself do not post much to replies, but only the ones I can really relate too. My goal is never to abandon the people that may need my support. I think it is selfish to feel good and jump ship. That like a really bad captain. You all no a good captain will make sure he is the last one on the ship before it sinks. That has always been my motto. I will always help that one person that really needs it. If anyone ever really needs help I will be here thru the tough times!
Congratulations! Time for a celebration... way to go! THAT IS GOOD NEWS> I HAVE DAY 6 tomorrow and im so happy but not feeling great. i can't wait to post 30 days we are going to celebrate. anyway keep the faith. Maria..
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