I'm a widow. My husband died on Valentine's Day 2004. Four months later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had chemo, bilateral mastectomy, hysterectomy. In 2006 found out I have heart disease.
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[More] In 1986, our 18 year old daughter was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She was given a very slim chance of survival. But, she beat the odds and today she is a beautiful, healthy mother of three miracles (children she was never suppose to have). In 1996, our 30 year old son found out he had a large brain tumor. Again, we were told he was going to die. He, too, beat the odds. They were able to remove the tumor and it wasn't cancer.
My husband died of CJD, Cruetzfeldt-Jakob Disease, the human form of mad cow. We believe he got the disease from OTC meds he was taking for his knees. It is a horrible disease. He died less than 60 days from the time we realized something was wrong. He was hospitalized for a "weird stroke." Died 2 weeks later; was on a breathing vent and feeding tube the last week in the ICU. A brain biopsy confirmed the disease five days earlier.
Lightning can definitely strike more than once. I don't understand the why's but my faith in God is stronger than ever. I thank God constantly for the miracle of my children and grandchildren. I really didn't worry about not licking my own cancer but this heart problem now does make me fret.
However, the loneliness is the hardest. I miss having that special person to talk to, to lean on, to argue with. I wish I didn't worry about my health but I can no longer live in the world of thinking bad things only happen to other people. I like to obtimistic but when I'm alone and I hurt physically as well as emotionally, it's hard not being sad; it's hard not to fret.
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