You have come to the right place. There is nothing like the forum to get you through tx. I talk from my own experience.
"My guilt runs deep tho for the years before the test when I donated blood thinking I was saving lives when I was really passing this insidious disease on to innocent people, I think of that often when I see people who contracted it that way, I did this to myself, they didn't......" I was very touched by this post of yours. You should feel no guilt, you donated blood with the doctors' approval. How could you know when medicine did not?