I was so concerned when you said you thought God was trying to kill you. Sometimes the enemy (devil) will put things in peoples mind that causes them to think God has left you. but he hasn't listen to that little voice in your mind that is telling you that your are one of my children. That in my opinion is the holy spirit calling you to him. I used to think the same as you. until i found a good Dr that just didnt want to drug me but wanted to help me. I have just started to feel better. Let God guide you and he will no matter what FAITH MY FRIEND
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