You're in my thoughts all the time, but especially today.... hey how are you??
Dude, i'm so sorry.. things will get better..
Your problem seems like a typical case on this site. You must get help as fast as you can, it can & will get worse unless you do. A qualified professional's needed. No one on this site can prescribe, but we do offer support & you can tell anyone anything here & not be judged or condemned. You've a lot of wonderful times ahead, you can help yourself by challenging the negative thoughts. (jargon picked up from CBT sessions). But remain POSITIVE, perhaps you can beat it on your own, but many, including me have fallen by the wayside when professional help was not sought. Do not feel reluctant to ask for help. It's nothing to be ashamed of & you will get benefit quickly ~ maybe some medication will be prescribed, perhaps not. Let's know how you fare. Best wishes.
You are so welcome! if you need to talk anytime about whats going on feel free to do so! and dont worry it will get better!