About Me: Female, 34, Mira Loma, CA, member since Mar 2009
I'm 29 years old and though I never imagined being this old I'm totally fine with that. I live with my heterosexual life partner Neil. He makes every good day a little brighter and every bad day some how bearable. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I u
[More]sed to think that was my biggest problem in life. Then I realized its all part of the journey. I've changed a lot in the past few years. I've matured in leaps and bounds. But I still have a lot to learn and lots of room to improve. I was branded Bipolar at age 19. I dislike the word bipolar these days because gets thrown around carelessly by the media in reference to any famous person acting out. So I've reverted back to calling myself a Manic Depressive. To me that label is more accurate because that is what my illness is--an endless cycle of Mania and Depression. I've been managing better these days. I owe a lot to my Neil for helping me manage my illness by knowing me so well. I know a because the word "bipolar" gets thrown around a lot lately by uneducated persons (in mental health matters) lots of people don't understand or believe its a serious illness. My mental illness very nearly cost me my life once. And I strive every day to never allow my inner demons allow that to happen again. I'm not schizo. I don't have imaginary friends I believe are real. I won't attempt to chop you up in your sleep with an ax. But I am prone to extreme moods that change my perception and can cause me to make what I'd normally consider idiotic decisions (be it spending 1000 dollars on a clothes I don't need or swallowing a bottle of pills with the hopes of never waking back up). None of this is an excuse for anything. It is merely an explanation. If you blame a disease for everything you become a walking a disease. I'm responsible for my wrongs and rights because I refuse to give Manic Depression that control over my life.
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