Just a quick note to say hi and to congratulate you on taking the first steps to the realisation that you have a problem. I can only speak from my experiences of 30 odd years as a cop in the UK and my current role as a civvy employed by them. My advise is firstly take each day one day at a time or if need be 1 hour at a time. Seek out a counsellor or consult your GP. I have found that utilising the tracker with daily journals helps, it can also provide you with evidence if needed for your GP/counsellor, all I can say is it works for me. Should you need a friend from across the pond I am willing to be there for you
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