Please can somebody advise me on what to do with my 10 year old. He was recently in trouble at school for blocking the sinks with paper towels and flooding the toilets. When questioned by the teachers they also discovered that he was responsible for an incident a couple of weeks earlier when poo was smeared on the toilet walls. When asked why he did it he said it was because he was angry because he was blamed for everything in school even when it wasn't his fault. He understood that what he did was dirty and not the right way to deal with his anger. Things seemed to improve in school after that and as far as I know this didn't happen again, however I went into the bathroom this morning and saw poo smeared on our bathroom wall, when I asked why he did it he said it was because he was angry. Whenever he's in trouble or does something unacceptable like hitting his brother, lying, stealing he just clams up and can't explain why he's done it, we just get "I don't know" with a blank look on his face its so frustrating! He is the eldest of three children and at one point thought it may be a bit of jealousy as I was pregnant with my third child when the smearing started at school. He has always been Involved and I have always made sure he felt important as I had my other children so I can't understand why he is doing these things its like he wants to hurt me, he's seen me in tears over his behaviour I've begged him to tell me why he does the things he does. His lying is out of control and I find it extremely difficult to believe anything he says anymore. He makes things up to his friends and in school and other children have started to cotton on to his tall tales. I am at my wits end now and don't know who to turn to, I'm terrified that I'm loosing my bond with him I've gone through it a million times in my head and can't come up with an explanation as to why my beautiful little boys head seems so messed up. Please help!!
I have some ideas. But, I am wondering how are his grades going in school. Have they began to drop? Does he resist doing his homework or take a long time to do it? What kind of stuff is he being blamed for at school?
I would definitely discuss this situation with the school counselor or seek an outside mental health evaluation to sort through what might be going on with your 10 year old. Of course, I would recommend that he is properly disciplined for this behavior. But I fear that your son is experiencing emotional issues that might be triggering this behavior. Mere discipline won't fix this situation unless the emotional issues are addressed or at least ruled out. That is why I recommend a mental health consult as soon as possible.
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